Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Where do YOU like to shop?

I almost always go to Filene's, which is quite near my house.

Here's what happens.

First, my friend nausea drops in for a visit. I start feeling queasy and icky after about ten minutes. I don't know why this is. It's all those little voices in my head--

"That's too much money."

"Well, it's 20% off, isn't it?"

"That's STILL too much money. And you have one just like it."

"Did I pay the electric bill?"

"Yes. All you ever buy is black."

"Shut up. God, did I remember the flyer? The coupon thing?"

"It's in the car, you weasel brain."

"Is that me in the mirror? God, I look terrible."

"Quit looking at yourself in the mirror. It's unseemly."

"But I look so terrible I just want to keep looking at myself."

Then pretty soon massive heat stroke threatens me.

"I have to take this jacket off."

"It's going to be severely inconvenient to walk around with it."

"Yes, but I have to."

"Okay, but now you'll be sorry you spilled soup on yourself."

"Oh shit. I'll keep it on."

Eventually, I develop joint pain, including hips, knees, and the killer of all, feet.

This is making me faint.

I have to stop.

A bientot


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