Thursday, October 25, 2007


Get your dictionaries out, folks, and look up "stud." Here is the picture you will see.

Josh Beckett hopes to improve on his 4 1/3 inning, seven earned run performance on July 14 against Oakland. On the road this season, Beckett is 6-4 with a 6.33 ERA and has surrendered 22 home runs. Opponents are hitting .270 at home against Beckett. Beckett’s 27 home runs are three more than Manny Ramirez has hit for the team this season.Josh Beckett is money in the bank and a smile on the face of Red Sox Nation. He's got these chipmunk cheeks with the little dot/goatee on the chin. What I like about him is how casual he is. Give me the ball. Okay, I'm going to start chewing now. I'm pounding this gum. It's going to be sorry. All the nerves you don't see in my demeanor? They're going onto the gum.
Beckett sometimes looks like he's trying to accomplish something with the gum. Then when he gets a strikeout, he just kind of stretches his mouth and mandibles ready for more chewing and wanders around for a minute. Okay give me the ball again. He is thrilling to watch. You have to look closely at this picture and it's a little disturbing, but whatever. Beckett can kill Bambi if he wants. I don't really care.

Here's the old man, the grand master. I'll bet he gives advice to all the young players about weird stuff. Eat plenty of donuts. Ask for gravy. Stand up for your rights if they say they don't have it. They're lying. Curt Schilling seems like a great family man.

Maybe he helped pick out the pattern that everyone is wearing here. Maybe it's like Sound of Music at his house and the kids are wearing clothes made from the curtains. The hills are alive, baby, and Curt will make them sing tonight.

Daisuke Matsuzaka, Dice K (has he been on the Special K box yet?) as he is known, is mysterious. He has a total baby face, innocent and naive, but they say he is a fierce competitor. I'll bet when he leaves Fenway, he is like a big clown. Pulling his pants down and mooning T drivers. Throwing flaming arrows into cemeteries. Hey. I saw that red streak in his hair. It wasn't quite covered up by his hat. Every time journalists have to write about him they give into their worst punning instincts. NO DICE. ROLL THE DICE. DICE SQUAD. It's pretty frightening. Let's hope we can get one more decent game out of him.

Cutie pie Tim Wakefield (here he is, Penny!!) throws the knuckleball and has had a great career with the Red Sox and before. Back in the day, batters used to corkscrew themselves into the ground trying to swing at his pitches. Nowadays he's a little scary. Does he really know where that thing is going? I believe he has said he does not.
Iwonder if gripping the ball like that carries over to his table manners. I bet he holds his pinkie up when he eats and maybe all his knuckles.
Yes, dahling, could you pass the ketchup, Wakie-Wakie? Thanks.
Wake seems very humble to me and as though he's holding a lot back. I hope he doesn't hold a grudge. He and J.D. Drew could get together for some serious revenge-plotting whiskey-drinking.
'Old Reliable' himself has been exactly the opposite since the break. He has a 4.63 ERA, much higher than his pre-break ERA of 2.59.

What's not to like about Mike Timlin? He's Curt Schilling without the calories. He looks like an aw-shucks type of guy and probably plays a losing game of golf really well. He's another big gum-achiever. What are these guys trying to accomplish with the gum? Hmmm.

This is Hedeki Okajima and he's the "set up man." That means he pitches right before the closer if the team is winning. The whole system is weird. Back in the day, one pitcher threw the whole game. If he burned out his arm, gosh, maybe he could have an operation to fix it. Nowadays there's the setup man and then the guy who sets HIM up, but I can't be bothered about that. There are other pitchers too, and they are :

Manny Del Carmen
Eric Gagne (object of hate but not from me)
Jon Lester
Javier Lopez
Kyle Snyder

But I want to end with the closer. The Guy With Real Spirit, Jonathan Papelbon.

Who wouldn't want to party with this guy?

Papelbon hoisted a cooler over his head in the locker room.

Well okay, maybe not everybody. Maybe not my maiden aunt. In truth, I don't have a maiden aunt. And also in truth, a maiden aunt would probably kill to party with Paps. Let's hope we get to see him tonight.

Hope I remembered everybody.

Go Sox

A bientot


At 3:45 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Oh, yeah, 2-0, thanks to great pitching!! Timely post!

A couple months ago I into a wild Japanese game show, called "Ninja Warrior", wherein competitors run a very difficult obstacle course filled with things a Ninja needs to be able to do, when a competitor appeared with the name Daisuke. (The show is in Japanese, with subtitles.) I didn't notice the name on the screen, but when the announcer said it, it was like he'd just tried to say "Dice K" in English, with a bit of an accent, giving me that strange sensation you get when suddenly you understand a word in an otherwise unintelligible stream. I'd assumed "Dice K" was a weird American nickname, half a reference to Andrew Dice Clay maybe, so was quite surprised to discover that it's actually very close to the proper pronunciation.

At 6:05 AM , Blogger beckymotew said...

I know what you mean, sm. I think that hit home to me when I looked at the spelling one day...Daisuke. Don't go into a hypnotic trance from the Japanese show==didn't some little kids a while back? maybe that was cartoons. :)

At 11:58 AM , Anonymous Jaden Nation said...

oh yeah. Those Japanese cartoons can kill you. Several thousand kids got seizures (I might be exaggerating) from watching that one episode of Pokemon.

- Jaden Nation

At 2:04 PM , Anonymous penny said...

I didn't give my students at UMass any homework Wed or Thurs (they weren't going to do it anyway...) and now they're hoping the series goes to seven just because they know I'm not planning to do any work either. Syllabus? What syllabus? I told them I couldn't take the pressure of more than four games. How are you doing with the students, Becky?

At 3:21 PM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Penny, I notice there seem to be far fewer students paying attention to baseball than there were in 04. It's not nearly as widespread. For me, this is a RARE weekend without papers. Do you teach English also? Then you know what I'm talking about.

Jaden Nation, that's right, it was Pokemon. Hearing that made me want to try watching it to see if it would happen to me. Go figure.


At 8:25 AM , Anonymous Penny said...

I do teach English, at UMass Dartmouth, Johnson & Wales, and a local community college (I'm a glutton for punishment--and a livable wage), and I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. In fact, I'm procrastinating right now. Urgh. Look--something shiny...essays? What essays? I have WRITING to do!

And by the way--I'm teaching lit for the first time in a few years, and I almost spit my Diet Coke out when I saw the first student write "Hemmingway." Who let these kids graduate from high school???

Hooray for a paper free weekend! And by the way, I just realized I never told you how much I enjoyed Coupons. To quote a genius analysis I read yesterday, "I enoyed [sic] this book very very much because the characters were good and so was the sory [sic] and plot."


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