Tell me, Dr. Freud

What does it mean that I buy clothes and never wear them? Can you explain that to me?

Here is one side of my regular closet. It's full of things I bought and have never worn. I intend to, don't get me wrong.

Are we on the clock right now? Am I allowed to have this Kleenex? Is your secretary going to keep humming like that?

Okay, so anyway, see that red sweater there? I bought it last year. I love it. It looks good on me. How many times have I worn it?

None.

Right. None.

No, I'm not talking about nuns, Doctor. I'm talking about zero. Zip. Ze big doughnut. Have I tried it on? Oh, repeatedly. Whenever I go anywhere, I have a tremendous fashion show. Clothes are strewn all across the bedroom and the hallway. It's a terrible job picking them up. But in the end I have always rejected the red sweater.

Oh gosh no, it's not the only one. There's a gray turtleneck there; I don't know if you can see it.

Yes, I know it could all use a good organizing. But what I'm trying to say is, I bought that gray turtleneck and have never worn it.

Dr. Freud? Do you want to trade? You sit on the couch and I'll sit on the potty seat?

I sometimes think the more I pay for something, the less likely I am to wear it. It's an odd theory, I know. This summer I had an event to attend and I wanted to look swish.

Pardon me? Oh yes, swish means good. Chic. Better than good. A certain little edge that a woman likes to have. Anyway, I bought a dress and two tops.

I nearly went insane trying them all on and ended up in a white blouse with black pants, just like every other time. What is wrong with me?

I guess I like the security of having several things to choose from. It's the choice that makes me crazy, though.

What do I choose to wear? Pretty much the same things over and over, black top with black pants or white top with black pants.

Nunlike? That could be, I guess. I was thinking more like caterer.

Yes, I do have another closet. Here it is.

I keep my luggage in here too, so it's kind of tough to get all the way to the back. I don't really know what's back there. Could be an old boyfriend, haha.

Sorry, doctor, it was only a joke. Shall I get you a drink of water? Oh, is this sherry? Sure, I wouldn't mind having a glass. Let's. It's not that weird Mogen David stuff, is it? Is that sherry?

Oh, never mind that clothes quandary thing. I'm happy in black (book title?)

Be here now, dear reader. It's all good.

A bientot

love,

becky

(who is going to an event today and has a new dress, which is under review right now.)