Sunday, July 30, 2006

Swimming Pool Theory of Life

When I was a kid, I would look at a swimming pool full of water but no people, and think how wonderful it would be to be in a certain section. If I could be floating right there, my life would be perfect. Or it would be better than it is. But then when I was actually in that section, life wasn't that perfect. Another section would look more inviting. Oh yes, that heavenly blue part right over there with the lapping waves. So I would make my way there, usually with the side stroke, but sure enough, when I got there, yet another portion of the pool would look better.

You can swim all around the pool and never find happiness.

I knew this was profound even at an early age.

Also once in a public swimming pool, somebody grabbed me in the crotch of my bathing suit and I thought I would be pregnant from it. I think I was twelve. I was horrified and thought oh boy, now I've done it, my stomach will get big and I will disgrace myself and my family will be ashamed. This is the best reason I know of to have sex ed in the schools, so kids don't think dumb things like that.

Here's another one. My girlfriend from a few houses down told me when I was around the same age that if you did get pregnant, you had to go to a home where a doctor "did it" to you a few more times to form the baby correctly. This did not actually make sense to me, but I didn't disbelieve it. Good grief. Can you imagine having THAT job? "Hi, I'm Dr. Mojo and today we'll be forming the pulmonary system of your baby."

My next post will be from Arkansas, depending on whether my dad's computer is working.

A bientot


At 4:26 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

Wow! The theories of life from a twelve year old's perspective! Although I think the 12 year olds today are little more informed - we'd hope so anyway ... but something cute and innocent about life back then all the same.(My Mum just left illustrated books in prominent places ...) Sorta helpful - the whole subject was way sscarrry!

Love the swimming pool theory.

At 8:40 PM , Blogger Martha O'Connor said...

Ok, I just laughed out loud. :D

At 4:44 AM , Blogger Mark said...

That is twisted, and hilarious.

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