Saturday, April 14, 2007

New Hannaford's, New Blogger

See this sign? It asks a very good question: Where did it go? Too bad it's wedged behind a razor blade display (I daringly moved it so I could take the picture) Too bad it appears on the eighth aisle at Hannaford's. You get to wander through seven aisles totally lost, unguided, like a blind person, before you get to it.

THEN it will tell you that Jif peanut butter has been moved to Aisle Ten, frozen spinach is now on Aisle Twelve, and Old Spice deoderant, and I'd like to know who's looking for that, is right here, darling, just next to the sign. See it?

I can't take it. How much more will be asked of me? Gas is expensive. Students are exasperating (not the ones who read my blog). Squirrels are learning English in my attic. And now this--Hannaford's is remodeling.

See this Wall of Bounty? It separates shoppers from an empty aisle. I saw at least four poor souls try to peer around it to see what was being hidden. Employees being beaten senselessly? One might think so, but nay nay. It's just empty. The floors which have been covered for all these years by the tried and true counters and end units, are scratched and stained. Those will never come out.

What are we thinking?

What will happen to us?
The truly amazing part is that WE ARE STILL SHOPPING HERE. There is a perfectly good yuppified Stop 'n Shop just up the road.

And yet?
And yet?

Like rats we enter the maze and run through it one more time, even though we have no idea where we are or what we came for. Everyone is forgetting their entire list. I came out without garbage bags and that was the main reason I went in.


Blogger finally got me to switch over to Google and I regret it deeply. My entire template is screwed up. But never mind that.

I need a calming influence.

Oh, but this isn't quite it. It's Bobby and Liz, married on my birthday, but WAY BIGGER THAN I WANT THEM. I hate new blogger!!!! I'm lost in its maze, dear reader, and I can't get out!!!! Maybe by next time I'll have it deciphered.

Oh dear god, help me!!!!!
I'll take Hannaford's!!!
A bientot



At 11:52 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

We didn't get any green signs -- I think I would have liked that better than the overly chipper helpers. Looking it up myself suits my tendancies better (you know, guys and asking for directions and all that). Some of the items on the list are amusing: what is New Age Juice? and Shake-N-Bake gets it's own listing?? Garbage Bags are aisle 12 -- you were so close!

I was forced to switch to google last time too -- if you're reading this, it means I managed to remember the new password...

(PS You might already know somebody who cares where the Old Spice deoderant is.)

At 7:51 AM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Oh you're right, sm. I was so close!!!!!

And I don't know my men's deoderants the way I should....


At 12:23 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I'm not sure I know them the way I should either -- for all I know, Old Spice repels women. I don't dislike the scent, and I like the sailboat on the package, but beyond that I don't have much of a justification. "Old" seems like a risky choice of adjectives in a product name, doesn't it?

Somewhere around here is a magazine column in which some editor's unlucky girlfriend got to be the judge of several different deodorant flavors in some little comparison test -- I keep meaning to find it and make sure mine didn't finish dead last...

At 7:16 AM , Blogger beckymotew said...

I always like the ones that are supposedly unscented, though I don't suppose any of them really are.

What a subject.


At 3:06 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Ha ha -- well at least we're not talking about it at the dinner table!

At 8:03 PM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

I love that squirrels are learning English in your attic.
And Liz and Bobby rock!


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