Friday, August 31, 2007

The Dentist

Let me go on record saying that all the dental care professionals who have worked on me are awesome. I love my regular dentist and the endodontist who roots my canals, or canals my roots, and the dental implant guy and anyone else I may have left out. They are wonderful people and deserve to be president.


It goes back to Dr. Smith when I was a child. He hated kids, my mother said. Naturally, you might think the next question would be GEE WHIZ, MOM, WHY DID YOU TAKE US THERE? But I was such a dumfk I never asked. I wouldn't be surprised if Dr. Smith killed small animals on the premises, probably to practice on their teeth. He wielded the drill like a chainsaw. My mother said he was too cheap to hire a secretary and he'd ask the suckers in the waiting room to answer the phone if he was working on a patient. I have previously told the story of when, at age six, I had my first filling and spit out everything in my mouth at Dr. Smith (who never said there was a bowl to spit in). Man, I got him good and my mother also said that she and some unknown man in the waiting room cracked up laughing when they heard him yell at me.

There was a lot more sadism in the old days than people know about.

So anyways, my teeth never looked like this. Even though I brushed conscientiously as a child, every time I went to the dentist I had 7 or 14 cavities.

Mine looked more like this. By the time I was an adult, every tooth in my head had a filling in it.
Then I started with the root canals and the crowns and finally the implants.
I will finally have everything fixed when I am dead. Those viewing me in my casket will hopefully have something nice to say and not GOD, HOW MUCH DID SHE SPEND FOR ALL THAT? SHE COULD HAVE DRIVEN A MUCH NICER CAR.
The Dream is coming to an end, dear reader, only this weekend left, and I wonder who my students will be.
Maybe I will talk to them about dental hygiene.
A bientot


At 10:39 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Your post reminded me of Steve Martin singing about being a Dentist -- did you ever see that? I looked it up and was reminded it's from Little Shop of Horrors, and thanks to Youtube, got to see the clip. Instant gratification! Here's the links for the song I remembered and another funny clip with Bill Murry I'd forgotten.

At 3:27 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

Too funny!
Reminds me of a funny radio (oh yes, I'm old enough ...) item from the 60s, often requested on 'Sunday Requests' - called 'Sandy the Dentist.'
And guess what? One of my brothers did exactly the same thing you did when the Dental Nurse said "Spit". What did she expect? (We had nurses at our primary schools ... and everyone called the Dental Clinic the 'Murder House'.)
I'm sure your sparkly smile will be all worth it :) :)

At 7:16 AM , Blogger beckymotew said...

Thanks for the clips, SM!!!! I of course had to watch at a friend's house because the gerbils that run my computer were tired.

CB, your brother did that? Gosh, I'm going to bet there were others!!



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