Friday, January 09, 2009

Becky Addresses the Scale (again)

Hi. Hey. How ARE you? Here, let me wipe that smudge off your face. No wonder I can't read you, hahaha. That's a joke.

Well, of course it's a joke. Don't get testy. Don't get your numbers out of order. I know I'm a little taciturn when you usually see me--standing on you naked, trying to keep one foot on and one foot off is challenging at six in the morning, okay? Not that I begrudge it. Just calm down.

I'm not going to hit you. That is so insulting to me when you cower like that. That was not a kick I gave you last week--I was merely moving you into a better position. I think we're close enough for that, don't you? All right, all right, I won't ask. Geesh, you are moody.

We need to talk. I don't think you're being fair. Your heart is very cold.

I've been good mostly. Well, okay, yes I was in Paris. Yes, I know. There could have been one or two times when I strayed.

But it meant nothing. You have to believe me.

Yes, I know there were other times too. But I'm telling you they were all meaningless. My heart was always here. With you.

Yes, yes, okay, I'm guilty. Is that what you want me to say? What have you got, a photographic memory?

And yes, that's right, I did go to the movies Saturday night. Might I remind you the last time I had popcorn at the movies was probably in the Sean Connery era of James Bond. Who's he? I'll tell you who he is--only the most handsome -- well, you asked, didn't you? No, I'm not trying to change the subject. I wouldn't do that. Yes, I did have a large popcorn. I brought my own water, though. Did you ever think of that? How easy would it have been to slug down a huge Pepsi? Pretty easy, but no. I was thinking of you.

What is it you're trying to say? Spit it out.

Oh, that? You're so funny. That was a bag of miniature chocolate bars that I bought at WalMart to put in my suitcase for Paris. Well, for traveling. It's good sometimes to have a little pick-me-up in the hotel, you know? Yes, yes, I know I've never taken you anywhere.
Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.
Why don't I throw the bag out now that I'm home? I paid eight bucks for it. It seems wrong to do that. Yeah, yeah. One or two. Yes, most days. Oh yes, that day--I guess I had ten or twelve. You got me.
Okay, look. I guess you have a point. I guess I have made some mistakes. But I'm starting again, and this time I will NOT STRAY. You will be so proud of me. It will be like the old days. Okay? Can I leave you here now? I'm going downstairs to throw out that candy and fix my lunch.

A bientot


At 2:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was cute. One of your better ones.

At 6:47 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Thank you. I think.


At 11:40 AM , Anonymous Marie Therese said...

Hey there, Becky. I just came upon your blog by accident (I was looking for a good pic of the Eiffel Tower for a quiz I'm preparing for my Order of Malta Ambulance Corps cadets, and your blog popped up.) You're hilarious - I really enjoyed your take on (shhhh) dieting and the photos really enhanced the words for me - I'm in that place too, the start of the New Year - the determination that this is it - no more procrastination, that fat has just GOT to go and I've got to get back to the sylph-like figure I had when I was - er - in my 20s (like that's going to happen at this stage!) I giggled at your bag of choccie bars - it does seem such a waste to throw them out - well, maybe just one.... but I'm one of those people who can't stop at one - there's a packet of potato chips leering at me as I write, but so far I've managed to stay away from them. Yay you - hide them or give them away, if you can't see them you can't eat them. Sorry this reply has been so long, but I love your sense of humour, and will be following your blog with great interest! Now don't start me on Paris ....
Marie Therese

At 12:38 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Hi, Marie Theresa, what a pleasure to meet you. Sounds like we have lots in common!!! Get rid of that bag of chips immediatement!!! We must unite against them.


At 2:56 AM , Blogger Kay said...

Hey you! Happy New Year! Can I use your scales lecture to harangue my set? Shhhh. Don't let on - I want to pounce on them when they least expect it.

At 7:42 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

It's best to keep them guessing, Kay. :)


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