Saturday, June 03, 2006

airline musings

I'm enjoying my last cup of coffee before leaving for the airport. No matter where you go or what time, traveling takes the whole day. My flight doesn't leave till 11:30am, but here I am at 6:30, packing and trying to remember what I will forget.

I've traveled a lot lately and have observed the following:

The airlines really want you to pay attention to the safety instructions these days. They stress the point that you should actually look at them and listen, much more than they used to. HEY!!! LISTEN UP!!!! WE DON'T WANT LAWSUITS FROM YOU CHUMPS! ANd what about this exit row thing? Weren't there exit rows in other years? Now, it seems, getting out of a fireball airplane is totally up to us. Not only do we have to take control of our own health care, our own retirement finances, but now our own emergency exits from airplanes. Maybe a few more people do listen to the instructions. Not me, though. Trust it to chance, I say. I'm sure in the event of an emergency, no one would remember how to attach their flotation devices anyway. By flotation device they mean measly plastic cushion that you're sitting on and that probably won't hold you above water anyway--not to mention it's freaking cold out there in the middle of Lake Michigan or the Atlantic Ocean or wherever your final destination may take you (see? I used another pet airline phrase). Most of the time you're traveling over land anyway, so what good will a flotation device do?

People who fly often can repeat these phrases along with the stews, not unlike a Rocky Horror Show viewing. "Certain electronic devices" is a good one. You may now use certain electronic devices--BUT NOT OTHER ONES!! NOT THE ONE YOU'RE THINKING OF USING!! Please bring your tray tables to their full and original upright position. THE WAY THEY LIKE TO BE! A stew on a flight of mine last week kept urging people to "work together" on the problem of storing bags in the overhead. "Let's all work together" means don't be a dipshit and try to put your bag in the front overhead because that's where EVERYBODY wants to put theirs and it gets CUCKOO. DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE! YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME WIG OUT ON THIS AIRPLANE!!

"If there's anything we can do to make your flight more enjoyable, please don't hesitate to ask us." FREE BOOZE WOULD MAKE MY FLIGHT A LOT MORE ENJOYABLE, WHAT ABOUT THAT? YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

They now announce what your choice of snack is like it's a big deal, and since everyone is weak with hunger, it does not go unlistened to. I can always hear part of it and not the other. "Lays potato chips. stamakinkegrin bar, rjskcldk beer and wine for five dollars, rhgkslke cookies, and rjgkslekjt." This is closely related to the unintelligible announcement from the pilot. "Good morning, ladies and gentleman. As you can see, ghsldkgh, we have reached our gjdlskgj. We're passing right over dkgslgkdj and there's a rare view of sldkgjdksl on the left. We're a little worried about sdkdfjsldkgjgdk, so keep your seat belts on at all times."

A bientot


At 7:50 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

You make me laugh. Which is a good thing.

At 1:39 PM , Blogger Gina said...

loved Coupon Girl but also had an airline story to share ! Couple of weeks ago hubby and I were flying to Canada. On the flight from Oklahoma into Minneapolis the flight attendant kept feaking out about anything being in the seat back pockets, no books, no snacks nothing just the magazines that were there when we boarded. She felt it necessary to repeat this at least every 5 minutes while in between announcements walking up and down the aisle to make sure everyone was complying... WHAT???

Pretty strange... I mean what the heck difference does it make? But a fun story to share non the less !


At 2:50 PM , Blogger Becky said...

Hey, Gina, you're right, that was WEIRD. Some of the stews are freaking out lately. Whatever.

Thanks for reading CG,

At 9:31 AM , Blogger cylon said...

Six Steps to Success
Throughout the centuries history tells of men and women with the midas touch, who achieved greatness against what seemed insurmountable odds. To some their successes appeared to be the result of blind luck, to others the reward for hard work, but the truth about the successes of men such as Andrew Carnagie and Henry Ford is much more interesting.

Success is a state of mind to which all people should aspire. Like many others you can unlock te gate to achievement and the fulfilment of yor personal desires. With the six steps outlined below anyone can arrive at a set destination, with the added advantage of renewed self-confidence and secure in the knowledge that every goal is attainable.
Step 1. Desire
The key factor involved in the process of achieving any desire lies in the response of one's mind to the objective. If a complacent attitude is apparent then there will be a lack of enthusiasm leading to failure or only half-success.
If a goal is to be reached determination is needed to carry set plans through to a successful conclusion. This determination must have enough mental 'weight' behind it to propel you forward onto the road of achievement. This mental state can only be instilled by one thing - desire!
As can be easily seen, when we look around us, it is this desire-force that has launched mankind on his frenzied zest for ever-new knowledge and has enabled him to push back the boundaries of science to never dreamed of achievement.

It is this same desire-force that must be used in our business and personal affairs if the success we seek is to materialize. It is not very hard to develop this kind of desire for all you have to do is go after what you really want - its that simple. With this desire you will have all the persistence you need to accomplish your goal. There is a great saying "you never fail until you give up"!
Take heed of what Napoleon Bonaparte said "What we ardently and constantly desire, we always get".

Step 2. Goals
If success is to come your must realise what is expected to materialize. This statement may seem obvious at first but if careful thought is given its meaning takes on deeper significance.
Many people fail to gain satisfactory results from their endeavours because they did not know what they wanted to accomplish in the first place. Your objective must not be hazy or incomplete. Before you reach your goal you must be able to identify how your life will be different when you achieve it. You must know exactly what it is that you want to achieve. How will your life be better/different? How will you feel? What way will you look? What situations will you find yourself in? Will other people in your life be effected and if so how will they react? You need a clear definite picture in your mind of what the attainment of your goal will mean to you.

Step 3. Belief
Belief is the back-up system of desire. It keep the fires of enthusiasm burning and makes us continually strive to get nearer the goal attainment. Faith can truly move mountains; the mountains of fear, inferiority, worry and low self esteem - 'the success killers'!
Once a goal is firmly fixed in mind and our desire-force is hurtling us toward seemingly insurmountable obstacles, the firm belief that we can gain a favourable outcome can spur us on to victory. When the mind has been manipulated to reflect this state, wonderful physical results can ensue, producing symptoms of success in our lives in every area imaginable.
Although many can attest to the power of belief and to the wondrous accomplishments that were achieved through nothing else except faith, it still remains that many individuals find it hard to believe that a positive outcome will be forthcoming when they are faced with momentous opposition. Whether the opposition is mental or physical the fact that nothing seems to be going right and everything seems to be wrong is enough for even the strongest of us to 'throw in the towel'. But it is in these very situations that faith can conquer all. Faith in yourself, what you are doing and belief that that your objective will be reached.
There are some who bemoan "easier said than done". This is exactly the kind of mental attitude that sustains the problems that they are trying to eradicate. If your belief power is not apparent, take hope for it can be acquired.
Each morning and night recite your intentions from a written list of your goals. Voice your belief in your own abilities. Tell yourself that in due course you will be successful. As you go about your daily affairs reflect as often as possible on your goals and affirm that they are yours now. Fool your mind into believing it and you will see your world reflect it!

Step 4. Plan
Having decided upon your goal and being determined to build your faith you need to give your desire-force a 'vehicle' through which it may materialize. This 'vehicle' will take the form of a definite plan of action.
Do you need to acquire certain skills? Do you need to know certain people or be in certain places to help you achieve your goal? Make a plan that will help you get closer to your end objective. Research your desires and get clear on what you need to do. Then do it!
Ensure that your plan is workable and realistic for you. Although your plan should remain flexible so that changes can be made when appropriate only make changes after careful consideration. Trial and error will eventually show the way to a good plan although you should be open to intuition also.
However, I should point out that, it is very likely your goal will materialize in a most unexpected way. The fact that you have set a plan for its accomplishment tends to set things in motion and like a chain reaction (or the butterfly effect) subtle changes made by you may cause dramatic changes elsewhere and your goal may come before your plan is completed.

Step 5. Visualization
Visualization is the art of creating mental movies of your completed goal. This has many beneficial effects upon your consciousness. Without going into the deeper esoteric benefits of using this art let me just say that you are truly designing your life when you use it. It has one other major benefit - it strengthens your desire and persistence because you momentarily experience the thrill of having achieved your goal!
Just form a mental picture of having achieved your goal. See what you will see. Feel how wonderful it will be. See how it effects everyone around you. Hear people congratulate you. When this state is experienced nothing will stop you in your quest for your objective and thus your belief-power will also be reinforced.

Step 6. The Subconscious Mind
It is within the subconscious part of your mind that you hold all th positive and negative beliefs about yourself - your self-image. These beliefs are reflected back to you in the form of attitudes. Therefore it is from the subconscious mind that the thought of failure or success comes.

Attitudes are just mental programs and so is your self-image. They can easily be changed (yes I said 'easily'). Any attitude or belief can be changed by using the formula outlined in this article - by combining affirmations with visualization. Henry Ford used it, as did Ralph Waldo Emerson and even Arnold Swatzeneger. It is reported in some circles that a similar technique was employed by Bill Gates to build his global empire. Andrew Carnegie used it exactly as described to attain and give away multi-millions even though he was an unschooled manual worker when he started it. Carnegie's legacy can still be seen today when you freely borrow a book from any Carnegie library of which there are thousands.
If you use these six steps there is nothing you cannot achieve. Luckily we have the advantage of living in the Twentieth Century with all its new technology and innovations such as hypnosis and subliminal programming. Use these steps in conjunction with your favourite personal development system and you are assured success. personal development

At 10:20 PM , Blogger blogme said...

What are you looking for today?


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