Rat Anxiety

Okay, so I know the picture doesn't seem to match the heading. But think about it. Rats become anxious in the maze under certain conditions. I'm not sure what all those conditions are, but hunger is probably one. Fear of someone stabbing them with a screwdriver is probably another. Existential questions such as why am I, a rat, in this maze in the first place might weigh heavily on the rat's emotional psyche, not to mention all the homely concerns such as rat mothers-in-law being lowered into the maze for Christmas, rat love disappointments, rat teenagers getting picked up for DUIs, and every sort of made-for-television drama.

But if a rat had to do Christmas shopping, were put under the stress of what this lovely artwork truly represents, that's when you'd see real anxiety. (It was a long way to get here, I know it)

And so here is my shopping update:

Most presents acquired but not wrapped.

Computer room festooned with gift items. You know, I just love festooning. Everything about it is fun.

In case you didn't know this, buying a treat for oneself helps the misery of shopping. You should try it, especially if you have languished in the quagmire of unselfish giving. Screw that.

Treats I have purchased recently:

red shoes (fab)

new pillow (don't like it, too firm--feels like I'm trying to lay my head down on a footstool)

necklace (don't want to describe in case I decide to give as gift)

3 pairs of pants that fit (desperately needed), including black DKNY dress jeans which look great with red shoes [Fashion decision: Abandon black dress quest, go with black pants/red shoes, though presented with new quandary of what to wear on top. New quest]

CD of Handel's Water Music, a piece I adored as a young violist in the eighth grade

new red candle,scarlet really and not red, with a great scent--may it burn in happy rooms

red tablecloth

cake cutter (now I have two!!!!!)

One sad fashion note: I am returning a beautiful white wool coat. It is truly stunning and I love it, but I have owned it for one month and never been tempted to wear it. I don't go anywhere that I COULD wear it. Grocery shopping? Double coupon day at Hannaford's? School? The 99 pub? I went to two parties last week and if I didn't wear it to them, when would I ever? It's time to see reality. Plus I can use the money for gifts and/or more treats for myself.

Could I be this shallow and self-centered? Is it possible?

Will more treats make me feel better?

love,
becky