Monday, April 20, 2009


Oh, I do love my coffee, dear reader.

It means everything to me.

But I confess, I fear I am still in the coffee bourgeoisie. I am not in the elite. I should use a better brand and I want to. There are those I have met who know better ones. They, those coffee snobs, have a certain aura I long for. I hate them for their knowledge and certainty and yet always forget to ask them for recommendations.

They grind their own. They are particular. I can't say I know anyone who grows their own.

That would really be impressive, wouldn't it? Probably you need good soil. And drug cartels operating in your back yard. Then you would know you are drinking a superior brand. All I can do is survey the coffee aisle at Hannaford's, pedestrian in the extreme. This is what you call rotgut. It's cheap, especially in that huge tub. For some people, looking down at that tub every morning means money saved, frugality, an avenue toward earthly and perhaps eternal redemption. I will just say this. I've already had a colonoscopy. Get me?

This will give you that nice bitter I-Am-Drinking-an-Expensive-Brand-and-Fk-Everybody-Else-feeling. But it has a certain taste, doesn't it? I'm not sure it's better than the tub.

This is good too, but you can get it at the drive-thru. It's everywhere. I'm not sure how I would like it without the styrofoam cup.

I actually haven't tried this brand. Maybe it will be perfect. I like that swish spelling they use. Any time you can tart up a spelling, you might be onto a marketing coup.

This is pretty good. You feel your standards are high drinking this brand. Especially if you stand there and grind it. I never do this because I don't exactly know how to and I don't want to look like a doofus in Hannaford's. LOOK OUT! SHE HAS SET THE GRINDER TO HIGH AND HAS NO CLUE WHAT SHE IS DOING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Yech. You know your standards are low if you drink instant. This is worse than the cheapest real coffee. Why not just drink hot chocolate?

I am not against hot chocolate. This is good at 4pm. For an extra special treat, try mixing two of the packets in one cup. Yum. [Don't tell my scale this--that grouch is all over my case lately]

Yuban Original

Don't know anything about this brand. I have scrutinized it in the grocery and ultimately decided against it. I always think I am supposed to read it backwards and that confuses me. Also it suggests Mexican or South American provenance and I fear it will make me sick. How stupid is that? I will try it soon.

Green Mountain Coffee Roasters

This brand, over there to the right, has been recommended highly. I have never bought it because I don't think I would like green coffee. AGain, completely stupid on my part. But what were they thinking? Also it sounds like crunchy granola organic hippie stuff and that bores me. Hey, I'm just being honest. I am going to try this.

So this is what I drink. Mostly. It's pretty good. It's medium expensive. It's not 7.99 a pound like some of them, but it has a good taste. Besides, if you put in enough cream and sugar, who can tell? [Do NOT tell the scale I said that]

A bientot




At 6:57 AM , Blogger Kay said...

That's interesting cos Americans love their coffee so it was good to get the good oil from the grass roots so to speak. In this country we have been a little slow to catch on. But we have lots of coffee brands to choose from and I get bamboozled by it all I have to say so I leave it to R - a bit slack of me really. Tea is really my fav. beverage - I'm more addicted to that than to coffee. I don't know what this says about me!

At 4:08 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Oh, it surely speaks of an English heritage somehow, doesn't it, Kay?
I like tea sometimes too, but not in the morning.


At 11:17 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Coffee has never been part of my life really, which feels strange in a world full of Starbucks and where coffee is one of the biggest international commodities. I suppose it's because my parents didn't drink it, though my mother took it up when I was a teenager (she explained later that it was the only warm beverage at some gatherings she went to in cold places). It's also consistent with my contrarian tendencies, though in recent years I started drinking it if served with meals, trying to fit in a bit more. But I never make it myself and have never bought a brewed cup.

The adults always had a pot of tea with dinner growing up, and I drink that at family dinners now but don't really know how to make a decent pot myself.

It seems like either of these would help with my drag-ass morning demeanor, mind you. My sister addresses this issue by drinking Coke in the morning -- yuck!

At 7:39 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Haha, sm, I'm picturing your sister and it's not a bad idea, drinking Coke. Funny, with a meal is the one place I would NOT drink coffee. I only like it by itself, in the morning. I suppose I am terribly addicted to caffeine. STrange, everybody's habits, huh? My parents' coffee was weak as dishwater.



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