Coffee

Oh, I do love my coffee, dear reader.


It means everything to me.

But I confess, I fear I am still in the coffee bourgeoisie. I am not in the elite. I should use a better brand and I want to. There are those I have met who know better ones. They, those coffee snobs, have a certain aura I long for. I hate them for their knowledge and certainty and yet always forget to ask them for recommendations.

They grind their own. They are particular. I can't say I know anyone who grows their own.

That would really be impressive, wouldn't it? Probably you need good soil. And drug cartels operating in your back yard. Then you would know you are drinking a superior brand. All I can do is survey the coffee aisle at Hannaford's, pedestrian in the extreme. This is what you call rotgut. It's cheap, especially in that huge tub. For some people, looking down at that tub every morning means money saved, frugality, an avenue toward earthly and perhaps eternal redemption. I will just say this. I've already had a colonoscopy. Get me?

This will give you that nice bitter I-Am-Drinking-an-Expensive-Brand-and-Fk-Everybody-Else-feeling. But it has a certain taste, doesn't it? I'm not sure it's better than the tub.

This is good too, but you can get it at the drive-thru. It's everywhere. I'm not sure how I would like it without the styrofoam cup.

I actually haven't tried this brand. Maybe it will be perfect. I like that swish spelling they use. Any time you can tart up a spelling, you might be onto a marketing coup.

This is pretty good. You feel your standards are high drinking this brand. Especially if you stand there and grind it. I never do this because I don't exactly know how to and I don't want to look like a doofus in Hannaford's. LOOK OUT! SHE HAS SET THE GRINDER TO HIGH AND HAS NO CLUE WHAT SHE IS DOING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Yech. You know your standards are low if you drink instant. This is worse than the cheapest real coffee. Why not just drink hot chocolate?

I am not against hot chocolate. This is good at 4pm. For an extra special treat, try mixing two of the packets in one cup. Yum. [Don't tell my scale this--that grouch is all over my case lately]

Don't know anything about this brand. I have scrutinized it in the grocery and ultimately decided against it. I always think I am supposed to read it backwards and that confuses me. Also it suggests Mexican or South American provenance and I fear it will make me sick. How stupid is that? I will try it soon.

This brand, over there to the right, has been recommended highly. I have never bought it because I don't think I would like green coffee. AGain, completely stupid on my part. But what were they thinking? Also it sounds like crunchy granola organic hippie stuff and that bores me. Hey, I'm just being honest. I am going to try this.

So this is what I drink. Mostly. It's pretty good. It's medium expensive. It's not 7.99 a pound like some of them, but it has a good taste. Besides, if you put in enough cream and sugar, who can tell? [Do NOT tell the scale I said that]

A bientot

love,

becky