What I Know to be True

When you go to your thirtieth or fortieth high school reunion, the same cliques will be in force. The same cool girls, even if they live in a trailer and wear Army boots and a bathrobe, will still rule the roost. The same nerds, dorks, pariahs and outcasts, even if they are now wealthy, well married, and bank presidents, will hang back in the doorway, unasked to sit at the "cool" table. You will feel your old status wash over you as you walk in the door.

Someone only has power over you if you give it to him/her. I'm not talking about the policeman standing at your window (you'd better give it to him). I'm talking about the person who intimidates you, makes you tongue-tied and nervous, not at your best. This person is a cabbage. Memorize the Prologue to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in Middle English. Just do it, okay? Always recite it to yourself when you see this person. This will give you new knowledge, something to concentrate on in the august presence, and send the message that you are too busy to waste time. If this doesn't work, call me at home. We'll go from there.

The most wonderful day of your life can be followed by the worst. Enjoy the good while you have it.

Conversely, a really bad day will always be followed by one that isn't as bad. Take comfort.

You can't earn love. You can't be the funniest and the best or even the most attractive one in the line-up and make someone love you. They either do or they don't.

You can't tell your heart what to feel.

You: LOVE THIS PERSON. COME ON. THIS IS THE ONE WHO IS NICER, WHO GIVES ME PRESENTS AND SAYS THANK YOU. THE ONE WHO DESERVES MY WONDERFULNESS.

Your Heart: YEAH? WELL, EAT SHIT AND DIE. I LIKE THAT ASSHOLE OVER THERE, THE ONE WHO TREATS YOU LIKE CRAP AND LIES TO YOU AND HAS ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND. THAT'S THE ONE I LIKE. [ed. note: while you may have no control over your heart, you do over your brain. See above Canterbury Tales therapy: it could be the difference. Never give up. This is me, Mary Poppins speaking, I'm being held here against my wi.......]]

If someone gives you two excuses for why they can't do something, they are lying. Example: I can't come over Friday night because my mother-in-law might be coming over and my husband isn't feeling well. You don't need two. It means they're lying or at least it means they don't really want to come over.

If a person does something bad to you once, they will eventually do it again if you let them.

You won't go into labor until you have given up all hope of doing so. This is true of anything you are intensely waiting for.

The person you are jealous of doesn't think his life is that great. The woman you think has everything anyone could ever want, is thinking and hoping for something else.

Don't cross the traditional dating lines. If you're a woman, don't call a man. Wait for him to call you. If he's interested, he will. I'm not saying you can't plot and scheme about how to run into him--OH HI!! I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE. WHAT A COINCIDENCE! I'm not saying you can't plot. Plotting is good and lots of fun. But he's hardwired to do the calling and the asking and the declaring of interest. Let him. You will have a much much better relationship. I'm proud to say I have lived by this rule. I stay home a lot too.

You can't lose weight without being hungry.

However happy you are right this minute is probably how happy you will be next week or next year or in twenty years.

Something good might happen today, although you probably shouldn't hold your breath .

A bientot

love,

becky