Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A: Honey?
B: Yes, dear?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
A: Did you remember to turn off the oven?
B: Aren't there like twelve employees at our house who can do that?
A: No one knew you were toasting Pop Tarts. It's probably still on.
B: Yeah, so? When was the last time someone made dinner at our house?
A: Is that a dig?
B: No, of course not.
A: A slam against me?
B: Jesus. No.
A: Is it? Because I can take this opportunity to go off with John Mayer. You can have HIS date. Haha.
B: Very funny, darling.
A: You probably have secret plans to meet her anyway.
B: Oh, right. No, of course not.
A: I don't know if I believe you.
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer (Pic:Getty)
JA: Honey?
JM: Yeah. Hi! Hey, man.
JA: Are you listening to me?
JM: Yeah. God, man, long time no see. How ya doin'?
JA: Did you think I looked good when I stood up there?
JM: Oh yeah. Definitely. Hey, how are you? Good to see you.
JA: Do you think Brad felt just a little pang? Don't you think I'm a couple of pounds thinner than she is?
JM: I'd say so. Dude! Vanity Fair party--I'm there!
JA: I think my skin might be a little better.
JM: Hey man, order me a drink, okay?
Robin Wright Penn and Sean Penn
Robin: You are such an asshole.
Sean: Shut the fk up.
Robin: You didn't even thank me in your speech. Why am I even here with you?
Sean: Cause you're using my credit card, you bitch.
Robin: Look how happy everybody else is.
Sean: Life is good, baby, and it will be better after our divorce.
Robin: I can't count on you for anything.
Sean: I'm a great actor. You can count on me for that.
Robin: Oh yeah. You probably left the oven on too.
Sean: That's cause I'm hoping you'll put your head in it.

Still fantasizing about the 81st Oscars, dear reader. Feel the joy.
A bientot


At 10:02 PM , Blogger Mark said...

Thanks for the best Oscars coverage I've read so far.

At 10:22 PM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Well thanks, Mark. Somehow I don't see you perusing Oscar coverage, but then you never know. Glad to see you.


At 2:03 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Thankfully the styles at the Oscars were so much more appealing than those disturbing hyper-80s fashion-week pix you showed in the previous post... However, I managed not to see any nominated movies last year, so it was hard to be too invested in which stars ended up at the podium. Or maybe it was easier -- just root for the prettiest.

Where was Jack Nicholson, by the way?

At 6:16 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Maybe JN only has the energy these days to sit in the Lakers front row. Hmmm. Good question, sm,

Of all my students this semester, only ONE watched the Oscars.

At 12:39 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

Did your students watch any other awards shows, like the Grammys or MTV VMAs, or do they just not care for old-fashioned TV events?

At 7:21 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

They only seem to watch House. I think the young men play video games.

At 2:49 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

Funniest Oscar post ever.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home