Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bad Idea

Want to make your life pass in front of you? Easy. Stuff everything you can think of into old style kitchen cabinets, wait thirty years, then heave it all out on the kitchen floor. Try to do it two days before you're having dinner guests to give yourself that extra frisson of excitement.

MOST REMARKABLE ITEMS FOUND (some are wrong--see if you can spot which, dear reader!)

1) 10-carat diamond.

2) Bank statements for 30 years going all the way back to whatever the bank's name was then. Bank of New England, Fleet, Baybank, Bank of Boston, Shawmut, my head is spinning.

3) dead mouse

4) Unsigned letter from Johnny Depp begging me to have dinner with him on any Friday night of my choice. I'm busy this Friday.

5) Original wedding gift canisters for flour, etc. in groovy psychedelic patterns, several stuffed full with bank statements.

6) All God's phone books, large and small, at least 15

7) money order for $10,000

8) List of tax assessments of all homes in my town in 1976.

9) Numerous cookie sheets/rusted aluminum cheese graters/rusted aluminum egg beaters

10) Salad spinner--these are still for sale in the "modruhn" era, but not like this extravaganza. There's only one thing to be said. YIKES. Army battalion? No problem. SALAD ALL AROUND, BABY! Sadly, the "spinner" attachment is missing.

I have assembled a small flea market on my dining room table. It has some exciting items, including a hot air popcorn popper, a homemade ice cream maker, numerous Corningware casseroles (with lids!), and much more!

See the psychedelic canisters? Aren't they far out? Also those blue thermal-insulated beer holders? STILL IN THEIR ORIGINAL PACKAGING. All of these items are FREE.
My dinner guests are being asked/forced to walk through the flea market and select at least one item for a ten-day free home trial. Did I already say they were free?

Okay then.
"Many convicted murderers have later been found innocent and have been forgiven."

"Couples in China prefer a male son."

"I sometimes have my friends over for a bomb fire."

"Al Gore has been fighting for global warming for a long time."

"In the online Gallup World Poll, 36% voted, 60% opposed, and the remaining 4% were lethargic and had no opinion on the matter."



At 11:38 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

My whole apartment is like your kitchen, I'm afraid; kudos for tackling yours. Those canisters are awesome!

By the way, did you notice Google had a special logo today for Mary Cassatt's birthday? If you missed it you can still see it here:

At 8:15 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Oh, I LOVE that, sm and I did miss it. THANK YOU.

I didn't get rid of too much at my flea market, sorry to say. Two casseroles and a cutting board. that's it.


At 8:54 AM , Blogger Kay said...

What?! No-one wanted the cannisters? I'd have taken them in a flash! Seriously.
I'm taking it no diamond ring or money order? No letter from Johnny either. Not sure about the dead mouse ...

At 9:21 AM , Blogger Becky Motew said...

Your analysis is spot on, Kay. Oh yes, the dead mouse was in there. Yuck. I truly wish I could give you the canisters.:)



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