Tuesday, January 03, 2006

One Thing Different

One thing different about being older is the weight of thoughts. When I was a kid, I used to wake up and my first thought would be "something good might happen today."

That has changed.

I's not that I think something BAD might happen, but I no longer immediately hope for the best. Well, duh. It's called experience and maturity in some quarters, I suppose. Still, I miss that feeling.

Annoying Problems to Face Today:

Dental Drama (don't ask)

removal of Christmas decorations (right now it totally looks like the height of the season here at my house)

Try TRY to make progress on VICTORY. I remember on CG I had 16,000 words and my friend Liz said, why don't you do it all in one voice. So I know very well that what I'm writing right now today might end up shitcanned. I'm so fraught with doubts, that's the main problem. I'm waiting for the day when I feel that sure sense, that "this-is-it-ness" (borrowed from Alice Walker) and then I'll know I'm on track.

Ain't feelin' it yet.

Plus I always worry about snow on my roof.

My friend Martha O'Connor is digging out from horrible flooding in northern California and my heart goes out to her. That's what you call REAL problems. Hang in there, girl.

La plume de ma tante,


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