Wednesday, November 14, 2007

What if I Changed My Own Toilet Seat?

Am I capable? The old toilet seat, which I will not show, is screwed in. I hate to think of what is turning those screws rusty and which I never noticed until now. More than twenty years of male visitors/children/neighbors/relatives doing their utmost (ahem) to, um, discolor the hardware. The seat also has scratches and marks on it which probably look very suspect to first-time visitors. Oh, the shame.
UltraTouch Heated Toilet SeatLet's face it. Men are the ones who cause the damage. I'm not going any further because delicacy forbids.
But I'm feeling brave. I'm feeling that I ought to head out to WalMart or Aubuchon for a new seat. What about a new color that doesn't match the rest of the toilet? That would look tacky, wouldn't it? Or would it be quirky and witty?
I'm in the mood for improvements.
I'm also going to buy curtain hardware for my bedroom drapes that fell down last summer. I've been crouching in the hallway as I undress (because I can't undress in front of my de-curtained window) for these many months and I'm sick of it.
Here is part of what my purchase will include:
HammerYes, it's true and here's another fact. Somewhere in my house lurks a hammer. A real one, big and clunky. Comforting yet menacing. Menacing yet comforting. I have looked high and low for it, all to no avail. But soon I'm going to find it. Know how I know? Because I'm GOING TO BUY A NEW ONE.
The two of them can be friends. Perhaps even lovers.
Hammer lovers (title?)
But THIS hammer I will take care of and won't lose. I know just where it will always live and I will never deviate from that location, as I must have with the old one. I must have leaned back in my repose and said oh what the frig, let me enjoy a few bonbons before I return this hammer to its rightful place. And then I never got around to it. Oh, I was slothful, but no more, dear reader. I am a careful hammer owner from now on.
Off to shop


At 9:31 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

I replaced the toilet seat in my old house, because it was cracked, and no, I didn't do it!

We were getting ready to put the house on the market and I was cranking away at the screw and it wouldn't come loose and it seemed to be turning but nothing was happening...

My sister gleefully pointed out that there was a nut on the underside that needed to be held with a wrench. (Pause for dirty minds to ponder that. Anyway...) So the whole mechanism was turning uselessly.

She's still cackling about it, I think.

At 3:46 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

Hammers are like ballpoint pens and scissors ...
As for toilet seats and bedroom curtains ... necessary evils?

At 6:16 AM , Blogger becky motew said...

Oh Kristina, now I'm scared to try it. Thanks for telling me, though.

CB, indeed they are more necessary than a lot of other things I can think of, like Velveeta.


At 10:06 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

It's a yucky job removing a seat -- there's no avoiding the surroundings that are so unlike other mechanical jobs. I've done it once, and put one on too I think, and I'm inclined to advise against it if you have someone you could call. One replacement I see regularly doesn't seem to want to stay on straight, unlike others the same age that are original and work perfectly. On the other hand, maybe the quality of the replacement is the issue. You could go all out and get a fancy heated and who-knows-what-else replacement!

I hesitate to share this, but one year one was needed in my parent's home around this time of year, and I ended up getting one for my father and wrapping it and putting it under the tree, half for the comedy of it. I think on the tag I wrote something like "I can't believe I did it either".

Maybe Santa will bring you one too... but the real gift would be if it came installed!

At 10:14 PM , Blogger Mark said...

This is one hardware job you should definitely wear gloves for. And go on, blame the men. I'd like to see a comedy sketch on what women think men get up to in the toilet.

At 6:17 AM , Blogger becky motew said...

SM, I feel I have to do this before Christmas, striking while the iron is hot, though I'd far rather iron than do this task...

You're so right about the gloves. I didn't think of that....



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