I Can't Hear You

My ear is no better and the doctor is putting me off. Says I should continue using drops, etc. and some "irrigation system" which I think is this tiny little turkey baster thing which I can't get to work.

This diagram scares me. It's a long way in there, isn't it? I don't like the looks of that butterfly thingie way on the inside. That's the thing that's full of wax, I'm sure. I think I have a big Yankee candle in there that somehow got misplaced over the holidays.











Now let's look at this diagram.

I hate to say it, but it almost looks like a gynecological diagram, YUCK. That butterfly thing looks a bit smaller here, maybe a little more like a unicorn creature. Come on, baby, loosen up!!!!


I am headed off to do what I can:

HELLO? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I'M TRYING TO SUCK MY EARDRUM.

WHAT? OH, I'M JUST KIDDING. I'M SOAKING IN HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. IT'S AWESOME. I'M GOING TO TRY IT ON MY NAILS.

WHAT? I HAVE TO LIE HERE ON MY SIDE FOR 20 MINUTES. IT'LL DO ME GOOD, I THINK. I DON'T FEEL LIKE WORKING ON MY SYLLABUS ANYWAY.

WHAT? YEAH, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.


And on Monday, boys and girls, I have massive dental surgery at 10:30. I'm having my face reconstructed to enter the Witness Protection Program. They give you new ears for that too, I think.

Wish me luck.

A bientot
love,
Becky