Tuesday, July 06, 2010


I can see the strategy the company uses. First of all, they remain calm. Everyone is calm. No one goes, "OHMYGOD, that was in your MOUTH? YOU ALMOST SWALLOWED IT?"

Words never used in phone conversation:

1) "lawsuit"
2) "sue"
3) "punitive damages"
4) "lawyer"
5) "pain and suffering"

The customer rep was very pleasant and professional. You would have thought we were discussing menu ideas. She did ask me if I was okay.

"You're okay, aren't you?"

I had to say yes.

She asked me if I still had the container. I said yes to that too. I am a genius and don't forget it.

Then she asked me if I still had the top.

The tinfoil top?


Uh, no. I don't have that.

GOTCHA. She didn't say that.

The upshot is I have to mail the gizmo, the little doohickie thing itself, back to them. My son says it looks like a nozzle.
The woman said they have many many metal detectors on the assembly line, so they want to know how this thing got through.


I did say well, good thing I didn't give a spoonful to my nine-month-old granddaughter.

I think there might have been a pause.

Years ago, before the colonoscopy became a regular fun part of medical check-ups, they used to give you this little kit to take home. It was for you to mail a stool sample to the lab.
I am not kidding. They gave you a little wooden popsicle stick for it. For the , uh, sample, or I guess to handle the sample. I never was able to bring myself to do it. [anybody still want to go into the postal service?]

Anyway, they are sending me a kit for this, too. It's reminding me of the other kit, though there won't be a popsicle stick in it.

Nothing is going to happen from this, I can just tell. Even though I deserve the General Foods Good Citizen Award at the very least.
A bientot


At 11:09 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I think the gizmo is your biggest leverage, and I'd be reluctant to give it up -- once they get it, you'll never be able to identify it again. I'm sure they have many more like it, and could easily identify it from a photograph, so why must they have it back? Tell them they can send someone to examine it if they want!

Do you still have the foil?! Yeah, that probably has codes stamped in it. Tough -- they can figure that out from where you bought it (did they ask?). I'm surprised they didn't ask if you saved the yogurt itself so they could test it for swine flu...

As an aside, if it looks like a nozzle I wonder if this is how they "whip" the yogurt, by spraying it through this nozzle at high pressure. You might be sitting on trade secrets! Maybe you should call Dannon.

At 3:17 PM , Blogger Becky Willis Motew said...

sm, this is ingenious! I will have to think about witholding it from them. That sort of escalates things.

At 11:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Call a TV station. NOW. And, Sandman is right - do not give them anything - they can see in picture. Call a lawyer!!


At 6:14 AM , Blogger Kay McKenzie Cooke said...

Listen to your advisors Becks! :)


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