YO!

I can see the strategy the company uses. First of all, they remain calm. Everyone is calm. No one goes, "OHMYGOD, that was in your MOUTH? YOU ALMOST SWALLOWED IT?"



Words never used in phone conversation:

1) "lawsuit"
2) "sue"
3) "punitive damages"
4) "lawyer"
5) "pain and suffering"


The customer rep was very pleasant and professional. You would have thought we were discussing menu ideas. She did ask me if I was okay.

"You're okay, aren't you?"

I had to say yes.

She asked me if I still had the container. I said yes to that too. I am a genius and don't forget it.

Then she asked me if I still had the top.

The tinfoil top?

Yes.

Uh, no. I don't have that.

GOTCHA. She didn't say that.

The upshot is I have to mail the gizmo, the little doohickie thing itself, back to them. My son says it looks like a nozzle.
The woman said they have many many metal detectors on the assembly line, so they want to know how this thing got through.

Yeah.

I did say well, good thing I didn't give a spoonful to my nine-month-old granddaughter.

I think there might have been a pause.

Years ago, before the colonoscopy became a regular fun part of medical check-ups, they used to give you this little kit to take home. It was for you to mail a stool sample to the lab.
I am not kidding. They gave you a little wooden popsicle stick for it. For the , uh, sample, or I guess to handle the sample. I never was able to bring myself to do it. [anybody still want to go into the postal service?]

Anyway, they are sending me a kit for this, too. It's reminding me of the other kit, though there won't be a popsicle stick in it.

Nothing is going to happen from this, I can just tell. Even though I deserve the General Foods Good Citizen Award at the very least.
A bientot
love,
becky