Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Trick or Treat

Let's be honest. This is the superior candy in the world, is it not? Forget all that Hershey's hype and Heath Bars that suck your fillings and teeth right out of your head. Reese's is God's blessing on man. I would give anything to eat one. BUT I WON'T. My resolve is strong, boys and girls, even though I am at a terrible plateau (3 weeks and still holding).

If I do stay home on Halloween, which I intend not to, I will be sure to buy candy that I don't like. Yucky stuff that isn't chocolate. Skittles--give me a break. Although I do like candy with citric acid in it, the kind that rots the enamel on your teeth. I have a friend who actually likes Chuckles--can you imagine that? Those big jelly bean goobers, yuck again.

There used to be a candy bar named Bun when I was growing up in the midwest and I loved it. I would conceivably forsake Reese's if I could find a Bun again, and of course if I still felt the same way about it.

Disappointing Candy Bars:
Milky Way (BORING, it's the Ford Escort of candy)
Three Musketeers (too marshmallowy, nothing else in it, keep searching for nuts)
Snickers (another candy that could be used for tooth extraction)
Butterfingers/Clark Bar (exactly the same)
Baby Ruth (they're always stale)
Kit Kat (too airy)
Almond Joy (I don't like coconut, it's in your teeth a week later)
Zero Bar (truly gross--do they still have those?)

Maybe I'll buy four huge packages of Necco wafers. I could give them out like communion. Here you go, open wide--oh, I'm just kidding, don't send me hate mail. Anyway, you don't give out Necco wafers singly, you at least have to give a whole package. Or maybe four huge bags of Pez. What ARE Pez anyway? Do they have anything to do with Nez? As in Nez Perce, which I can never remember.

They always have a really cheap assortment of non-chocolate candy that includes tiny lollipops and hard candy. Maybe I'll get that and try to break my teeth instead of pull them out.

I will never be a Godiva girl.

Making progress on my revisions, YES!!! And I just remembered there are still Hershey's kisses somewhere in the house from last Christmas. I wonder if I could find them.

A bientot


At 12:54 AM , Blogger sandman1 said...

What a coincidence, I just bought myself a bag of Reese's cups at the supermarket on my way home tonight when I wandered down the holiday aisle. I usually wait for the after-Halloween half-price sale, but it was only $2.50... They also had the Reese's Pumpkins, which a loquacious custodian at work told me years ago were his favorite and are made, he was convinced, using a slightly different recipe.

I resisted the candy corn -- I always think I want some and then tire of it after a dozen kernels. I feel wise for knowing better now, yet somehow feel like it's not the kind of wisdom worth growing old for... I mean, I only saved 99ยข.

I'm not trying to tempt you off your resolve, but when you're ready, you can have a Bun if you want one:

Or maybe Santa will bring you one.

At 6:02 AM , Blogger chiefbiscuit said...

We have different candy over here and we don't call them candy (yet) we call them lollies.
I say yet because we are sounding more and more like Americans ... the younger generation are already pronouncing some words* the American way ... it makes us older ones grind our teeth somewhat. But I'm sure every English speaker in the world is going to sound the same one day in the future.

* e.g. they say 'math' whereas we say 'maths'
they say 'noos' whereas we say 'news as in church 'pews'
they say 'zee' for the last letter of the alphabet,whereas we say 'zed'
Plus they are also starting to call lollies - or sweets - candy

And I'm afraid to say there are more examples ... what is the world coming to? ;)

At 6:19 AM , Blogger Becky said...

Wow, Sandman1, thanks for the Bun!!!! And I completely forgot the candy corn--I don't like those either.
Chief, hold the torch high. We must maintain standards. Solidarity!!!


At 11:32 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I dunno Chief, I'm not sure Americans are settled on just one vernacular anyway. For instance, what do you call carbonated soft drinks down there? I say "soda", but in different parts of America, people reportedly say "pop" or the curious "coke" (as in "what kind of coke do you want?" "Sprite please").

I assume any American word choices that might be rubbing off are coming from tv/movies/music. But isn't there British and Australian influence there too? Europeans speaking English tend to sound to me (in my limited exposure) like they follow the Brits, e.g. saying 'zed'.


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