Monday, July 12, 2010


Spain Gold, World Cup, July 11

And now for some World Cup analysis.



I think....


The truth is I watched half an hour of the whole thing.

That half an hour did happen to be the final game between Netherlands and Spain (victorious Spaniards shown above). As usual, the action went something like:

A few people kick the ball and EVERYONE RUNS THRILLINGLY DOWN THE FIELD.

Then the goalie comes out and stops the ball, kicks it, and EVERYONE RUNS THRILLINGLY IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

Repeat for one hour while the game remains scoreless.

I thought I was watching the Lakers give acting performances half the time.


WHAT A TERRIBLE CALL! I think I read that something like eleven "yellow cards" were given and those are for unsportsmanlike conduct or not following the rules or things like that. They're not given if you have bad breath. You have to inadvertently kick your feet in the air and pound someone full-force in the chest. Then you would get one.

The game was decided on an after-match free kick. That doesn't seem right. The commentary was frequently dulled by the horrible penetrating sound of the vuvuzelas.

vuvuzelas the annoying horns at the world cup Vuvuzelas: The Official (and Annoying) Voice of the 2010 FIFA World Cup Instead of hearing crowd noise, you heard this tremendous reverberating, well, what would you call it, a dial tone?--you have reached 1800ATRILLIONMOSQUITOES --that threatened to drown out the deadpan unexcited announcers.

"Yes, you can see the enthusiasm."

"Oh yes."

"Zimfkdjetk inbounds the ball and almost gets a goal on that one."

"You can see the enthusiasm."

Yeesh, you'd think you were at a golf match, although at least the golf announcers get somewhat worked up.

Why don't Americans care about the World Cup? It doesn't make sense. We love sports. We are totally into it. Our kids play it from an early age. People are always saying that soccer interest is going up and up. Is it? I'm not aware of it.


1) We're not that good at it.

2) We didn't start it.

3) We can't keep track of all those countries and are too lazy to look up spelling of vuvuzela.

4) We have too many sports as it is. It's too much to follow.

5) The history isn't there. The rivalries aren't there. So it seems boring.

6) I can't think of another one.

I am off on further travels, dear reader, but I will keep you posted on the Great Yogurt Dilemma. Meanwhile, we should all rejoice that some things are the same the world over.

A bientot




At 10:26 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

(LOL on the second "you can see the enthusiasm".)

I agree with you. After years of trying to be open minded about it, I've decided the hell with it -- it's a boring sport. We don't watch it because it's boring. We're not good at it because after playing in grammar school we move on to more interesting sports. I'm perfectly happy to let the rest of the world go crazy about it, and all the better for there to be something huge that the US has little part in -- we don't need to do well at everything, do we?

I do think that one reason it's more widely popular is that it takes very little equipment to play it, making it very accessible. Our popular sports require increasingly more infrastructure to play at a high level, but international level soccer is still a ball, a field, and a net. Only the Mickey-Mouse-sized goalie gloves look specialized, and them's cheatin' anyway!

At 6:21 AM , Blogger Kay McKenzie Cooke said...

Did you know NZ was the ONLY team not to lose a game? All 3 games were draws, but still ... we didn't lose a game and we were the only team IN THE WHOLE WORLD to do so (or not do so ...) I dunno either! But IMAGINE THAT!!! as Murray would say ... We are proud of it for some reason.
And as for the vuvuzelas or whatever they're called, they have been officially BANNED from any sports events over here. Whew! (we just have Pacific drummers instead!)
Have fun wherever you're going. I'm sure all will be revealed in due time ... :)

At 7:34 AM , Blogger Becky Willis Motew said...

Well said, sm. I may refer back to that sometime. I suppose basketball doesn't require much in the way of equipment except for the hoop....??

I did not know that, Kay. Congrats to NZ!!! It doesn't seem right that they didn't advance then. I can't figure it out. Pacific drummers----I'm trying to picture it. Are you referring to Murray on Flight of the Condors? I LOVE him.

At 12:11 PM , Blogger sandman1 said...

I think for proper basketball you need two indoor hoops with backboards and a polished grippy floor that towel boys can work over. Proper soccer fields are still nice outdoor grass that anyone patient can grow for cheap. You can learn basketball with just a hoop (still costs more than a vacant lot), but you need a real court at some point.

Kay -- I forgot this blog has an international readership! Please take no offense and feel free to point out how our fave sports are also boring. My mother's English friend thinks baseball is excruciating... Among sports we don't play here, I do find rugby quite interesting, though I don't understand it at all. I'm with you on the vuvu's...

At 9:54 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

My English friend (not one of our mutual English friends) asked me once, in earnest, why American football players always look so winded and exhausted after about 30 seconds of action and a bunch of standing around.

I told her I have no idea.

I was watching a bit of that same game and thinking they all must be in amazing physical condition to do all that RUNNING. I needed an inhaler just watching them.

At 6:00 PM , Blogger Becky Willis Motew said...

sm, a lot of people say baseball is boring. My kids in class say it sometimes. It is not, of course, haha.

Kris, I must start watching to see if our players look winded. Don't we have David Beckham? I like his wife's haircut.


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