Extreme Makeover

These financial makeovers get my goat. I get all excited to read them and then there's that one line that ruins it. Can you pick it out?

Ron and Betsy can retire in five years. But first Ron needs to get a job that pays double what he makes now. Then they need to invest in mutual funds, blah blah blah. YEAH, OKAY.

Margaret can get out of debt and keep the bank foreclosure at bay in just a few steps. First, she needs a new stream of revenue. Then she needs to sell her house and invest in annuities... WHAT KIND OF NEW STREAM? HOOKING?

Andy and Brittany want to buy a house. That dream will happen for them if they STOP HAVING BABIES and SAVE A LITTLE MONEY INSTEAD OF BLOWING IT ON WEED.

I might have gone overboard on that.

And another thing. How can these people lay bare their souls and their private finances the way they do? Ann and Carl have a severe credit card problem. [Hey Ann and Carl? Your NEIGHBORS are reading this] Ann never met an APR rate she didn't like. They are massively in debt and it's doubtful they can ever get out unless they divorce, which seems likely given Carl's late nights and Ann's continued friendship with the convenience store guy. [the teachers at the SCHOOL are reading this] Carl's mother lives with them and charges two hundred dollars a week at Macy's in addition to her dental problems, which Carl and Ann pay for.[and your MOTHER is reading it and figuring she might as well hit Saks]

Geesh.

Anyway, class went pretty well today, although students are still trying to add in. Two today want to, and they have missed four classes. Four!!!! That's five hours of instruction. They won't have a clue what is expected on the research paper. Oh well, lallalalala. I just don't understand why they are adding so late. Oh well, my boss at Hannaford's wouldn't let me off to come register.

We know what to tell THAT bozo, don't we, boys and girls?

La plune de ma tante