Gender Observations

Women are not generous drivers. Believe me, I hate saying it. But when was the last time a good-hearted driver waved you into traffic, let you make a left right in front of them, and they were female? That's what I thought. Men show their good side at those times.

I also like the way they take out the garbage.

And mop up sewage in the basement.

Of course they're the ones who display the horrifying road rage too.

Years ago I was waiting to make a left turn onto Rte 117 in Bolton. It was clogged, the smaller road I was on was clogged, it was Saturday on Bolton Fair afternoon and of course the town is wild with yahoos and adrenaline the whole day. I should never have chosen that route. Anyway, I was second in line for a long time.

When I got to be first in line, the car behind me went berserk, honking and yelling. I could see the man in my rearview mirror. He was out of his mind. "What are you waiting for?" I could his mouth say, and other things I couldn't make out. He had at least two passengers with him but they were silent, probably wondering where the Prozac vial was and if it could be procured before the driver went down in a seizure.

I had my young daughter with me and felt mortified and incriminated and guilty. I didn't have the nerve to pull out into traffic. If I'd had any real guts, I should have gotten out of my car and walked back to the guy and asked him how his day was going. Or called him a stupid fucking asshole. Instead, I rolled down my window and yelled out, "why don't you show a little patience?" Oh, it seemed pititfully inadequate. I hated myself all day.

But now? It seems like a good remark.

Laissez les bon temps rouller.