Monday, January 30, 2006

Saint What?

My old high school, Mt. St. Mary's Academy in Little Rock, Ark., changed its name a few years ago to Mount St. Mary Academy. Well, lah dee freakin' da. I'm here to say I don't like it.

What's wrong with St. Mary's? That's what everyone calls it anyway. Knowing that I'm saying it wrong makes me feel restive and rebellious. It puts me back in Sister Corona's library when I was compelled to roll an orange on the floor.
--ST. MARY'S, ST. MARY'S, NYAH NYAH NYAH-NYAH NYAH.

OH DID YOU HEAR ME? ST. MARY'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when the decision was made.

NUN 1: So, Sisters, it's decided. We're now Mount Saint Mary Academy. No more "apostrophe 's.'" I don't want to hear any sibilant sounds following our name.

NUN 2: Yes but Sister, that sybilant 's'...."

NUN 1: I SAID DON'T SAY IT, SISTER!

NUN 2: Yes of course, Sister, but what I meant was that that "apostrophe 's'" has been, well, a tradition.

NUN 1: We have to show the world, Sister, that we are up with the times.

NUN 2: Yes Sister.

NUN 1: The world does not live by tradition alone.

NUN 3: That's not what you said when we were talking about the..............

NUN 1: NEVER MIND WHAT I SAID THEN. Think about what we're doing. We're moving ahead in the millennium.

NUN 3: Yes, Sister. There could be controversy, you know.

NUN 1: Oh come on, Sister Eterna, I don't think we're going to get death threats over it, do you?

NUN 2: Actually, Sister, Becky Willis, one of our really old alumni, has written in stating her intention never to follow the directive.

NUN 1: I remember her. And Sisters, I'll just say this. Consider the source.

La plume de ma soeur

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