Olympics Summary

I admit I never turned it on.

So.

Here are the highlights that filtered down to a non-watching American such as moi.

Michelle Kwan elbows her way onto the team after initially not making it. Elizabeth Hughes unpacks her bags, Michelle packs hers because of course the USOC lets her have her way.

Michelle Kwan takes a fall in practice and drops out. Turns out she already had an injury and should never have been on the team. I mean we're sympathetic, but come on. How much do these transatlantic flights cost? Michelle packs her bags to get on one and leaves. Elizabeth Hughes repacks hers and gets to Turin pronto. I have no idea how she did.

Bode Miller brags about skiing drunk, or something like that. "Watch me party." He goes on to an 0-4 record and still brags. "Boy did I party."

What's-her-name who had the gold cinched and stopped for a show-off twirl or flip and fell on her kiester, losing gold and settling for silver. She says it's no big and can't wait to get home for a good steak.

Black guy wins gold in speed skating. Good. Something to cheer about. Gets into feud with white guy on team, they question each other's dedication in front of the international press. I can't think of their names.

Sasha Cohen becomes Great White Hope for America or at least for marketing suits. She falls on her kiester twice and ends up with silver. Say goodbye to the Wheaties box.

All kinds of people fall on their kiesters. The only pictures I saw from the Olympics were those "action" shots of people taking a spill, eyes wide and arms akimbo. Articles are written on Slate about how much fun it is to have friends over and watch people fall on kiesters. It was the NASCAR Olympics.

I'm off to the grocery store of my choice. If I pick Hannaford's, I deserve what I get. PBS is advertising "spectacular conclusion" to BLEAK HOUSE tonight. I sort of doubt that, but I'll still watch.

La plume de ma tante est sur la table