Sunday, August 29, 2010

Taking a Break

I'm going away for a while, dear reader.
I need a break.
I feel like I'm starting to say the same things over and over again, you know?
And I don't want to do that. It's time to fill the well.
I'll be thinking about you, though.
A bientot

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


MIrrors are tricky. They can ruin your day. Shown here, Stepford Woman just prior to stoning death.

The mirror in my guest room is a treasured possession. I never look haggard in it, probably because the lighting is poor. Poor lighting is crucial. Don't forget it.

The mirror in my bedroom is balanced on a stack of books and so is a bit cockeyed. This gives me an optimistic start to my day.

Mirrors in optical shops can give you a heart attack. Don't go in there. What is it that you want to see anyway? The mirrors in these joints--Lenscrafter, etc.-- have excruciating honest lighting. Convert to Catholicism and go to confession if you want to share all your faults.

large image
The rear view mirror in the car is flattering. One reason is that it doesn't show all of your face. Also, it doesn't show your neck at all. Who knew the neck would turn out to be your worst betrayer. If you go from the car mirror into an optical shop, don't say I didn't warn you.

Department store mirrors are okay. The lighting is fluorescent or artificial or something. They don't insist that you look at each plague pustule in detail. Macy's mirrors are generally okay. Some of them actually make you look thin. I think this is explained in a little known corollary of Einstein's relativity theory (tjmxx=fu2) and has to do with gravity and time and other scientific data such as wishful thinking. WHen you buy that odd daring item, it never looks as good in any other mirror.

This is how I think I look. By the way, I used to have plates in this pattern. Damn!


This is how I look at Lenscrafter.

Five-way or three-way mirrors can be frightening. That's when you see what your stomach has been doing behind your back. Good God! Also, I sometimes find my nose exceptionally beaky in these reflections. Is that my ass? I'm sure it isn't. And that can't be how my hair looks in the back. When did I get that big crop circle on the top?

Kylie: The Exhibition

Makeup mirrors are excellent. They make every woman look like Grace Kelly or Elizabeth Taylor. What's not to like? I don't have one of these. I don't believe in Santa Claus either.

They say the camera adds ten pounds and it's true. The side view, even with the stomach sucked in, can be a throat-clutching moment. You may need to sit down. Stay there. Most everyone looks better sitting down

The best way I know to fight these problems is denial.

That can't be how I look.

A bientot

Friday, August 20, 2010

I'll Miss You When You're Gone

My guests were great fun and wonderful to be with.

This pic is from another trip. Until John (in white cap) sends me the current one, it will have to do.

Do I look like a lush here? Don't answer that.

Dr. Neil.

Doing exams or cleaning the barbecue? You choose.

The power!

The awesomeness!

Life is different with gloves!

Also when you dress like a jester!

What do you have to do to get a cup of coffee here?

See that box of candy on the table? It is now gone. Consumed. Inhaled.

Brie (oops, forgot to serve)
Cheddar cheese
2 bags Tostitos
one half carrot cake
one third egg casserole
cream cheese
cream cheese spread (left by glove wearer)
dead fruit
half pound turkey breast (never served, never offered, never thought of once)
one half lasagne (now frozen)
three bottles wine (will never last)
beer (will still be here on CHristmas Eve, my next dinner party)

Am making transition to real life, dear reader. Observation so far: it sucks.
More later.
A bientot,

Sunday, August 15, 2010

House Party

Stay tuned for exciting details, dear reader! Who will squeeze the toothpaste wrong? Who will leave dirty underwear on the floor?

That white couch in my house would be streaked with burrito stains in ten minutes. And I don't even eat burritos. I love formal attire, though. I like the smiley guy on the couch who already has his coat off. HAS HE GOT HIS LEG UP ON THE WHITE COUCH? It's okay, I'll let him.
A bientot

Monday, August 09, 2010

Good god, more mugs!

In keeping with my own "mug" tradition of souvenir purchasing, I brought home this one from Frank Lloyd Wright's estate, Taliesin. It's not bad. It's not what you would call "generous," though. I wouldn't use it for my morning coffee. I'll save it for "good," as my mother would have done. I'll palm it off on a guest. I have a few of those rolling in at the end of the week, so it's perf!

Because cabinet space is limited here at Camp Becky, I decided against a mug on my recent Cape Cod sojourn and opted instead for this necklace. Tres charmant. Necklace shown on bedside table, which has been cleaned off for the first time in four years. My guests will actually be able to put down their car keys and spare change, etc., and will never know how close they came to being buried in junk.

In other news, certain families are enjoying new diversions.

An eager patron can be seen here.

And here. Early reviews say thumbs up. Ze Sand Box is visible too.
I was trying to teach Maeve (the older one) to do Knock Knock jokes and could only remember one.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam enchanted evening........
Chitta boom. Maeve didn't get it, but loves doing knock knock anyway.
Cleaning, cleaning, and cleaning, dear reader. Am going to Berkshire Theater Festival this week to see Babes in Arms, so that will be one break in the action.
A bientot