Wednesday, September 30, 2009


For something far more important than any diet, see below. Meanwhile,

Breakfast: Yoplait 100

2 mugs of coffee doused with HH 160

Lunch: Raw hot dog furtively consumed behind a computer screen at the college 170

grapes 80

Dinner: WW something or other 280

canteloupe 100

can green beans 60

BreathSavers and fudgcicle 120

TOTAL: 1080

EXERCISE: It was raining, I swear!



MAIN BITCH: feeling trapped in a cage

LITTLE VOICE: You're a fool.

And now, may I present Molly Rebecca Motew: ain't she sweet?


Grandma Madonna

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Day 9

Breakfast: Wallaby yogurt 140
one mug coffee with giant HH 100

Lunch: one hot dog 170

one slice toast 100

ketchup 60

grapes 80

Din: LC chicken with spinach, kind of nasty 280
one slice toast 100
grapes 60
BreathSavers 60

Fudgcicle 60

TOTAL: 1210



MAIN BITCH: can't plan trip on five-day Columbus Day weekend because of commitment to diet.

LITTLE VOICE: It's not working.
Sleek Up the Creek

Monday, September 28, 2009

Day 8----Weigh-In

Healthweigh Doctor Scale Okay, so it's not a huge loss. A pound and a half. Part of me is disappointed. But I already know from experience that it works this way. And hey. This is a case study. If it shows that I can't lose weight, then that's what it shows. What I really hate is when somebody tries to tell you why it doesn't seem to be working. Oh well, you're drinking diet soda. That could be why. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Enough of this. Yaaaay, I am a pound and a half lower than I was a week ago (two pounds lower than that day I illegally weighed myself....)

Breakfast: Greek yogurt 110

Coffee with HH 160

Lunch: one raw hot dog (my students were appalled) 170

extra large bunch of grapes 120

The whole thing made me kind of sick. Since I forgot to buy ham this week, I will have to have the same thing again on Wednesday.


WW Santa Fe Rice and Beans 300

delicious can of corn 220

Crisp Empire apple 60

BreathSavers 60

Fudgcicle 60

TOTAL: 1360

EXERCISE: 2 mile easy walk



MAIN BITCH: lonely and meaningless life without food

LITTLE VOICE SAYS: It's not working.


Mrs. Sprat on the Lo-Fat

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Day 7

I gots to tell you, dear reader, I'm getting a little sick of these. But tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I'm excited for that. Plus the grapes at Hannaford's this week are superb, as mentioned earlier, so that is consoling me. Plus the new thrill of fudgcicles. 21 days to go.

Breakfast: Greek yogurt 110
Coffee with HH 160

Lunch: LC hunan beef, or as I call it, hyena beef or human beef 260
grapes 100
fudgcicle 60

Din: WW Santa Fe rice and beans--best of brand--300
Big Pile of Stuff, including one can green beans 70
watermelon 100 (I think)
Big Dollop of Paul Newman's (RIP) raspberry vinaigrette 100
(Burl Ives played the Big Dollop role in Catfood on a Hot Tin Roof)

Breath Savers 60 or more

Let's count this up and see if I have room for one more fudgie before bed. 1320--YES!
TOTAL: 1380
EXERCISE: rain today, no exercise, such a luxury
OPTIMISM: 10 (but nervous for tomorrow)
HUNGER: pretty high
MAIN BITCH: Life seems dull.
Skinny Ginny

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Day 6

This is what I wanted to have at the movies tonight. But I did not.

We saw BRIGHT STAR, an "art" film. It was beautiful and artistic and I applaud the making of it. But boy oh boy, could I imagine some people I know not liking it. The actor who plays John Keats is very cute, so it was enjoyable all around.

Breakfast: Greek yogurt 110
2 coffees with mucho HH 160

Lunch: WW chicken parmesan--not too bad except the chicken tastes like a foam rubber mattress. 290
one slice toast 100 (don't ask)
grapes 60

Hurried dinner before the movies: LC penne pollo (best of brand) 300
sprinkling of grated parmesan 80

Snack after the movies: 2 fudgcicles 120
Breathsavers 60
TOTAL: 1280
EXERCISE: walk around Gates Pond with friend--solve world problems but not my own
HUNGER: intense
MAIN BITCH: none today, fun at a yard sale
Curvy Minervy

Friday, September 25, 2009

Day 5

You are looking at 83 calories worth of merlot.

I slugged this down and another one just like it. Yes, it is a Campbell's Soup Kid cup. My mother gave me two of them many years ago and I like to drink from it. I almost never use a wine glass. I have low-class habits. They are comforting to me. Wine glasses are hard to get clean.
Anyway, I made the merlot last as long as I could, dear reader. Friday Zest all around.
Breakfast: Stonyfield yogurt 130

2 mugs coffee with HH dollops 160

Lunch: Weight Watchers Santa Fe Rice and Beans (best of the brand) with small dollop of Thousand Island dressing.......440

bunch of grapes 60

I grocery shopped at Hannaford's today and the grapes are superb, a rare occurrence.

Dinner: Lean Cuisine hunan beef (not human) 230

1 cup watermelon 100

small dollop Paul Newman raspberry vinaigrette, may he rest in peace, 60

big bunch of grapes 100

BreathSavers 60
Wine 170


EXERCISE: Easy walk 2 miles


HUNGER: assuaged by wine buzz

MAIN BITCH: acorns falling on my head during walk


Trim Jim

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Day 4

That’s because besides being a perfect vehicle for peanut butter, this vegetable contains bone-beneficial silicon and cancer-fighting phenolic acids. And that’s not even what makes celery so good for you. Ah, a tender stalk of luscious celery, bursting with the taste of PRETTY MUCH JUST WATER AND ALSO THAT GARDEN-Y TASTE THAT ISN'T A BIT SATISFYING! Not only that, all those little watery underground strings get caught in your teeth like green dental floss.

It's a very bad bad bad idea to get on the scale when you're on a plan like this one. The body has its own mysterious way of doing things. It's plotting and scheming about how to keep its weight, for one thing. It's not going to give anything up until it has to.

What I'm trying to say is, I did the bad bad bad thing today and got on the scale. Official weigh-in is on Monday, but I got on today. I'm a half pound more than when I started, dear reader. I'm trying to take it in stride. It means nothing. It's a weird hormonal fluke. I'm not going postal. I'm not out on my roof yelling SOMEONE MUST DIE!

Breakfast: Stonyfield Yogurt 130
2 big mugs of coffee and half-and-half dollops 160

Lunch: Weight Watchers Angel Hair Pasta--not my favorite--230
Slice of toast--- 100

Dinner: Lean Cuisine penne pollo or whatever the fk it is 330
Big Pile of Stuff, including can of green beans 70
canteloupe and honeydew medley 150
Dollop of Paul Newman's raspberry vinagrette, may he rest in peace 100
Breath Savers 60 (at least)

TOTAL: 1330
EXERCISE: 10 miles hard jogging HAHAHAHA just wanted to see if you were paying attention
2 miles up heartbreak hill walking
HUNGER: not too bad
MAIN BITCH: Salad dressing should not count.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Day 3

huge banana split Yeah, right. I'm still highly motivated, so this picture does nothing to me. NOTHING, I TELL YOU!
Here's what I'd rather have:
Photo of Carrots
Let's hear that again: YEAH, RIGHT!

Breakfast: Libertee Yogurt: 250 calories! Yikes! This stuff is wicked delicious, though.

2 big mugs of coffee with half and half dollops----my favorite writing drink 160

Lunch: one jumbo hot dog --- 180
grapes ----- 100
string cheese ---- 80

Dinner: WW scummy frozen entree with some kind of vegetable strips that are hard to chew and may break one of my crowns: 260
one can of peas --- 210 and YUMMY----mushy mushy mushy
Dear reader, you are getting a full dose of my low-class eating habits. You don't think I'm going to cook, do you?
BreathSavers: 60 (at least)
TOTAL: 1300

EXERCISE: 2-mi easy walk
HUNGER: inching higher
Svelta from the Delta

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day 2

Gordon's eggs benedict
Here's a nice picture of what I won't be having for the next few weeks--Eggs Benedict.
I am hungry, but okay. The thing I don't like is not having anything to look forward to. Now would be a good time to get totally into nail care or crosswords. Of course I'm always into crosswords, so that's nothing special. Here's today's report.

Greek Yogurt (never heard of it but it's pretty good) 120
One big cup of coffee with giant dollop of half and half 80
200 total

Weight Watchers sweet & sour chicken--okay-- 300
grapes, 1 cup 80
one string cheese 80

460 total

Lean Cuisine hunan beef something or other--not bad -- 260
Big Pile of Stuff, including
one can green beans 60
mixed fruit 100
big dollop of raspberry vinaigrette on top (this is the Dollop Diet) 100

520 Total

Extras: Breath Savers 60

TOTAL FOR DAY: 1240 (a bit low--I should drive out to get a popcicle, but too tired)
EXERCISE: hard walk up Heartbreak Hill by horse farm 2 miles
HUNGER: Quite hungry, wondering how I'm going to make it 26 more days.
love from the fat farm,

Monday, September 21, 2009

Day 1

Yoplait yogurt ---- 180 cals
2 cups coffe w/half and half --160 cals (I pour on the white stuff)

340 cals

2 slices deli ham --200 cals (this may be high)
one string cheese -- 80
Bunch of grapes, approx. one cup--- 60

340 cals

Lean Cuisine -- 330
can green beans -- 60
dollop of raspberry vinaigrette -- 100
bunch of grapes -- 60
mixed fruit -- 100
650 cals

TOTAL: 1330
I plan to have a 70 calorie fudgcicle. PLUS I learned today that those little BreathSaver goobers, you know the ones? I thought they were zero calories. They are FIVE EACH. I consume at least one pack a day and probably closer to two. At max that is another 120, bringing me to 1520 on the day. Not bad.

EXERCISE: 2 miles walking
HUNGER: Very High but see Optimism Quotient

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Time for Action

Healthweigh Doctor Scale
Okay then, here we go. I am sick of addressing the scale. The little bastard.

I am taking charge.

I am making a plan.

Ten pounds need to be gone. If those pounds are listening, they should be very afraid.

Here's how I'm going to do it. I start tomorrow, Monday. I weigh myself on Mondays. 1500 calores a day, give or take. I'm not going to be obsessive about it and set myself up for failure. What I am going to do is use this blog to motivate myself. Every day I am going to post what passes my lips (as my mother used to say). Anything I eat or drink has to be divulged. No lying. I promise.

1500 calores and two miles of walking. Wine allowed once a week in moderation. Those are the rules. This will be a four-week endeavor. A four-week blitz. Either I will lose the weight or I will lose some of the weight or I will have the mean=spirited pleasure of proving that all this dieting bullshit we read everywhere is wrong. Are we ready, dear reader?

What always kills me is restaurant eating. I think I have successfully gotten rid of any potential restaurant outings. There are no parties coming up and no events that I can think of.

We will call my weight X for now. We start tomorrow. This picture was taken today and you can't really see the fleshy part of me, but it is there.

Tune in tomorrow, dear reader.

We'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Please Come To Boston

Pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka
...where Red Sox pitchers are showing their stuff and the wild card looks do-able.

At times things didn't look too good for the Patriots as head coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady talked on the bench in the second half.

.....where the Patriots are 1-0 and Coach B finally has a good haircut (shown here asking Tom Brady if he thinks anyone on the squad is wearing too much cologne).

Quarterback Tom Brady returns to regular-season action as he fires a pass in the first quarter.

Don't you just know the opposing players are thinking one thing----KNEE! GO FOR THE KNEE!

Want to give spring a shot of bright color? Check out this creation from Custo Barcelona.

....where it is not New York and people do not go around looking like this Custer Barcelona model. Like all fashion models, this guy is pissed off and angry. If he had a blunt object in his hand, he would use it. His clothes say one thing (happy! screwball! jolly!) but his face says another (death! mutilation! psychic horror!) I'm thinking of that old show where the guy said "dy-no-MITE!" except this guy really means it.

Didn't we tell you hats are in? A model presents a creation at the Erin Fetherston Spring 2010 collection.
....where no one would be caught dead in a hat like this. This woman is being paid ten dollars an hour not to appear outside any psych ward or detox center window. She is of course angry and pissed off the way she should be. Her friend below is especially angry, and who wouldn't be in her position? Both hats are from the Erin Featherston
A model shows off one more hat from the Erin Fetherston Spring 2010 collection for good measure.
collection for spring and I affectionately call the last one Evil Incarnate. Thanks to the Boston Globe. I've had a fashion epiphany, dear reader. I saw one of the older, very respected female professors the other day--wearing jeans!!!! Oh, I am sorely tempted. I'll keep you posted.
Carpe the fun.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Birthday

It was a wonderful birthday. I had a lovely lunch yesterday and will have another lovely lunch tomorrow and this evening, darling Maeve enjoyed several several hilarious games of Grandma Locked in the Closet (I don't think Maeve should mention anything about Grandma being in the closet, do you?). I even got to have a fun discussion of Broadway shows and which one to pick for a high school production. Don't do Oklahoma!! Don't do South Pacific! Yuck and double yuck!

Right now before I call it a day, I have that nice sick dyspeptic feeling of being about to throw up that only comes from too many slices of rich chocolate cake. We also had pizza and antipasto and meatball subs. It makes me think good thoughts such as WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

One of my guests also asked that question. I heard this guest scream when he went upstairs to the bathroom. I forgot I had started to clean out the medicine cabinet.

It looks somewhat disarrayed.

Here is a better look.

I don't know. I'm comfortable with a little mess, I guess. I didn't know I owned this much makeup.

Some people have no room to talk. Some people are weird fanatics.

Anyway, I am going to bed.
Good night, dear reader. I will be ready to start a new year tomorrow. Right now I am treasuring the old one and thankful for the happiness I have had.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Only a Few Moths to Live

That is what a student said about the life expectancy of a character in a movie. And so that is officially the first blooper of the season, dear reader.

I am predictably exhausted and pretty much have my nose buried in a book or a paper at all times.

This girl in Renoir's Young Girl Reading is a bit younger than I am. [HACK HACK. COUGH COUGH.]
Girl Reading by Albert Anker is serious and even looks slightly appalled, as I sometimes do.

Henri Matisse. Interior with a Young Girl (Girl Reading). Paris 1905-06 Matisse's Interior with a Young Girl Reading catches my eye. I like her air of resignation and her ambition in tackling those big tomes.

And finally, I want to be this Girl Reading by Fritz Skade. She is absorbed, at ease, and comfortable. Again a bit younger than I [HACK HACK HACK PHLEGM ATTACK], but whatever.

Uh oh, I was busted on that photo. So here's Picasso's Woman Reading. It almost looks like Octopus Reading.

Be Here Now. A bientot'


Friday, September 04, 2009

Thoroughly Modern

I've always thought I should have an E Z Pass Fast Lane transponder thing. When I'm with someone who does, I love sailing through the tollbooths and past the laboring peasants.

Last Saturday night on my way to Logan Airport, I was stuck in the gridlock meltdown road rage snakepit of all times as two cash lanes were open and four Fast Lanes. And I was in my new car just waiting to get bumped or crashed into. That kind of tension does not appeal to me, so I actually remembered to apply for one of these fkers online. I should have it soon. Yaaay!

As far as banking goes, I am a pretty modern gal (shown here with a new hairstyle, new hair color, new body weight, and new face--those hormone shots are working!) I long ago switched to debit card. I like the way the money comes right out of my checking account when I buy something. That's the way it would be if we walked around with piles of cash. I don't like getting a credit card bill.


I am an online banker too. I like the way you can peruse all your activity there and I like clicking instead of writing checks. I still write a few checks, notably to my snow plow guy who doesn't seem to ever get the electronic checks. Dude, let's get with it! You're younger than I am! [I think this is true--I've never actually seen the guy]
See full size image

Keys will be the new frontier. I already own and enjoy my keyless entry for the car, although I don't like the loud beep it makes. What if I'm trying to make a discreet getaway? What if I don't want the attention, you know?

In hotels now, instead of fumbling with keys, we get to fumble with the perforated/dotted computer cards. First put it in this way, then backwards, then upside down, all the while hoping for a green light that will let us in. I'm waiting for the Mission Impossible recognize-the-retina-of-your-eye unlocking device. Will I have to take off my glasses for that?

The biggest one I can think of is the deli computer in the grocery. I embraced it at first. Wow, rather than waiting in line, just punch in your order on the machine. Then walk through the entire store, forget you made the order, check out and go home. Or walk through the entire store and then traipse all the way back to the deli and wait in line to pick up your order. Meh.

Engine light in your car. The engine light in my Honda was on for two years. It was off briefly during inspection. The mechanic told me it wouldn't come on again. I paid $1500. Yes, that's right, dear reader, I am a doofus extraordinaire sometimes. The light was on again in two days. No one knows why it was on. It was a light from beyond, an eternal light that will never die. A religion could be set up in its name and its congregants would be comfortable, reclining in the front seat and back.
And finally, the dreaded.......

Kindle KINDLE. Some of my author friends think this will be the death knell for publishing. I definitely want to try a Kindle but not at $400 or even $300. But I love books and one of the things I love is knowing exactly how far into the book I am. You can feel with your fingers how many pages are done and how many are left. I don't know why this means something to me, but it does. Stay tuned.

School has started. 100 new people now have my email address.

A bientot