Monday, October 26, 2009


I've had a lovely week of not writing down everything I eat. I did stay on the Hamster Plan for the full week, though, and lost ANOTHER POUND. That's right--five pounds in five weeks! So I am relatively satisfied. In other news, well, I guess there is no other news. Here are some bloops from this fall semester.

"Fifteen agonizing minuets passed." [you know, it's true. Dancing is agony for some.]


"I commanded the dog to sit vocally." [I usually like him to recite Keats.]

In a related sentence, the same writer said that the dog" could sit without having to say sit." Rather remarkable, I'd say.

".....some other authors such as P. G. Wholehouse."

"She brought her own flare to the stage."

And finally, these very true words:

"We need to reduce admissions into the atmosphere." [way too many freshmen up there!]

A bientot



Monday, October 19, 2009

Final Weigh-In and Comments

Healthweigh Doctor Scale

Loss for the last week: half a pound Can you believe that, dear reader? All that hunger and suffering for one lousy half pound--not even a whole pound? It goes against what you read about calories consumed and calories burned. I really believe metabolism plays a big big role. Age plays a role too and I am no, well, you know, it rhymes with bing licken.

My body at my age wants to be soft and plump and saggy. It wants to in the worst way. It fights me. I can barely win and I only win if I concentrate really hard and force myself to starve. Well, I don't mean starve, but stay really hungry.

Don't let anybody tell you that you don't have to be hungry to lose weight. You do. You have to go to bed hungry every night to make it happen. You have to do it night after night. You have to keep at it day in and day out, especially on the days when it doesn't seem to work at all, days when you actually GAIN weight. Yup. That happened to me several times.

It's all well and good to read about these people who lose tremendous amounts in a short time, but I am not one of them. I don't think most people are. It's lonely and unfair. It does eventually happen, though.

Total loss for one month (28 days): 4 pounds
ALL THAT EFFORT for only four pounds? Many would never ever guess that the total loss would be that small.

But I am not surprised. I am a veteran of diets. For me, a pound a week is pretty good. So if I want to lose the rest of the ten, it will take another six weeks.


On the other hand, what else am I doing?

Why do I care? When will I reach an age where I don't care?

I don't know. I just know I still care.

I also know if I start relaxing and increase my calories, the weight will jump back on. I worked too hard to let that happen.
Let this chronicle stand as a scientific case study of how a month of calorie counting will work. I am five feet six and a half. I'm not going to give up.

I am, however, going to take a blog break for a while. I've been saving bloopers, so I will be back when I feel the urge. Thanks for staying with me. I'm wearing a new pair of jeans and they feel good. love to all,

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Day 28

3701454.471251219424 And so in a spirit of muted celebration I have arrived at the last day. I can't believe it and I wish I could say it flew by. It did not. It dragged. I wish I had the patience of Julia Child, or of Meryl Streep (shown here auditioning with a new partner for Dancing With the Stars), so that I could have cooked some yummy consoling dishes for my hunger. But I did not. I am a sluggard in the domestic arts and will always choose something easy. I will post here tomorrow or the next day on my final weight and my final thoughts on the whole experiment. Fingers crossed for my final weigh-in.

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: WW Santa Fe Hamster Fillets 330

Dollop of Thousand Island 50

grapes 70

Dinner: slice of toast YUM 100

WW Mystery Parmesan 310

grapes 60

BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1270

EXERCISE: Rain and --no, it can't be true--SNOW no exercise



MAIN BITCH: our weather is not like Aruba

LITTLE VOICE: you'll never be able to keep this up.


Shapely under the Drapely

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Day 27

Nearing the end, dear reader. At least the end of the public confessional aspect. GOD, I can hardly wait. I think I will post tomorrow night and then do a final wrap-up on Monday.

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: LC Paninni 330 (not too bad, it has an actual piece of bread in it)
grapes 70

Dinner: small serving of chicken stir fry (about one third of what I really wanted) 300
green beans with butter 40 (but I have no idea)
salad with small dollop Ken's Italian Hair Oil dressing 30
grapes 60
BreathSavers 80
TOTAL: 1200
EXERCISE: walk around Gates Pond with friends and packs of dogs
HUNGER: 10 (I really wanted wine today)
MAIN BITCH: It's lonely to be hungry.
LITTLE VOICE: Your results are pitiful.
Hot Tomato Studies Plato

Friday, October 16, 2009

Day 26

All Fashion Boots : Shoes : Women : Target These boots from Polyvore look just like the ones I bought today, except mine have cool ribbons in the back. I also bought a brown pair. I am stylin', baby! Anything to keep from thinking about food.

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: LC Hyena Meat with Medallions of Laughter 270
grapes 60
one string cheese 80

Dinner: slice of toast YYYYUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM 100
WW Slimeballs with Tylenol Sauce 270
grapes 60
fudgcicle 60
BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1250
EXERCISE: hard horse farm walk
HUNGER: 10 (assuaged by boot purchase)
MAIN BITCH: can't eat boots
LITTLE VOICE: it isn't working.
Willowy in the Pillowy (?)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Day 25

Fall Foliage
"Tis a lovely season just now with heartstopping foliage. I like yellow the best. I feel like eating it. But then I feel like eating the telephone too.
I can't wait for this to be over.

Dinner: WW Chicken Santa Fe With an Odd Taste 270
one half of leftover chicken breast 200
Dollop of Paul Newman Elixir 50
grapes 60

Lunch: WW Hamster Meat 300
small portion of leftover chicken breast 120
grapes 60

Breakfast: The Usual 290
fudgcicle: 60
BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1460 gosh, it didn't seem like that much--rats
EXERCISE: 3 hours of weightlifting hahahahaha
horse farm walk 2 miles
MAIN BITCH: dieting is lonely
LITTLE VOICE: all for naught

Feckless Beckless

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Day 24

I want to know how the celebrities get so thin and stay that way. Do they hire an armed guard for the kitchen? A knife-wielding individual who stands sentry at the refrigerator?










The secret is not to bring the stuff into the house, of course, everybody knows that.

And so I have not.

My house is Old Mother Hubbard bare. There ain't nothin' here but a few erasers and paper clips. Go ahead and put a little pinch between your cheek and gum. Mmmmm, savor that good
zinc oxide metal taste that says "somebody loves ya."

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: Jumbo hot dog furtively ingested behind computer screen at college 170
one string cheese wolfed down 80
grapes 60 (the last of the good crisp ones)

Dinner: Cold chicken breast, rather large, does anyone want to challenge me? See this letter opener? Go ahead and tell me I can't have the chicken. 500
can asbestos-flavored green beans 60
one Empire apple 60
BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1280 unless I made a mathemetical error. Does anyone want to challenge me? I SAID DOES ANYONE WANT TO CHALLENGE ME? Okay then.
EXERCISE: Walked to my friend's house and walked back here. 2 miles We lamented state of the world and discussed possibility of cutting off limbs to facilitate good weight loss.
LITTLE VOICE: You will fail.
Toxic Waist

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day 23

Yum--eraser meat! That's what some of this stuff tastes like in the frozen dinners, at least after a few weeks. I keep thinking about that research project at Tufts. How is it different from any "reduced calorie diet"? I mean really? That's what any diet is, isn't it? The depressing part is that your body doesn't want to do it. Your body can be horsewhipped into it, of course, as mine is being now. But next week? And the weeks after? When no one is watching me and I don't have to record this stuff? Then I might gain a whole bunch of weight really fast and be worse off than when I started. That's why some people say dieting is a trap.

See full size image

By the way, a mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: WW Santa Fe Eraser Meat 330
grapes 50
Dollop of Thousand Island 50 (so tasty!)

Dinner: Lean Cuisine Ginger Glazed Eraser Meat 270
can green beans 60 Everybody now! YUCK!
2 slices deli ham 70
Dollop Paul Newman raspberry carburetor fluid 60
fudgcicle 60 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
BreathSAvers 60

TOTAL: 1300
EXERCISE: Not rainy but rainlike and my hair looked so good....a rare no on this
MAIN BITCH: Nothing good ever lasts.
LITTLE VOICE: You are a no good slacker.
Dove (Bar) Love

Monday, October 12, 2009

Day 22-----Weigh-In

Tra la, tra la, I lost a pound! My grand total is THREE AND A HALF POUNDS! Now in some ways that doesn't seem like much for all this time. But I felt much thinner today. I wore a pair of jeans that I couldn't get into a few weeks ago.

Oh yeah right. HAHAHAHAHA. These are so-called Brazil fashion jeans--can you even imagine? Also the belly button jangly heart is not my first choice. If I wore that, first of all, it would be obscured by roll of fat; second, it would immediately catch on protruding screw or nail or some other errant hardware and rip me a new navel (a bit of a variation on what is normally ripped new)

The point is, though, I felt thinner today for the first time. It goes to show that, as my mother always said, it's always darkest before the dawn, yesterday being very dark.
Also I had real food today. I baked chicken breasts and ate a whole one.
Beer Butt Chicken
May I say from my heart YYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM! I needed that! . Check out this article from the NYT about reduced-calorie scientific experiment--I think I should be in it!
Let's check out the damage for today. Only a week to go.

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: Chicken Eraser Meat with Ginger 280
one string cheese 80
1/2 honeydew melon 60

Dinner: One divine chewy tasty, lightly salted, chicken breast from heaven 450
can green beans 60
one apple 60
two tbsps. Paul Newman elixir of youth raspberry vinaigrette 60

TOTAL: 1340 OOPS make that 1400 with BreathSavers
EXERCISE: walk around Gates Pond, 2 or 3 miles
LITTE VOICE: You are a freaking genius!
Sweet 'n Low

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day 21

It's curtains for Sox
I feel so bad for Johnny P. We still love ya, boy! Next year! And then the Pats lost in overtime. Why can they never beat Denver? It PISSES ME OFF. I'd like to see John Elway eat a Weight Watchers turkey and hamster dinner.

Some days are just bad.

Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: one jumbo hot dog 170
ketchup 40
one string cheese 80
grapes 80
May I say that I was very hungry about twenty minutes after lunch.....I think I am moving into an intense hunger period. I've said this before, but if I were not publicly committed to this blog, I would be wavering right now. I'd be deep inside a pint of Ben&Jerry's.

Dinner: WW Swedish Meatballs -- YUCK, WORST EVER with a sickening smell. I even wondered if it was spoiled. It didn't stop me from eating it, though.
can of green beans 60
Dollop of Thousand Island 60
slice of toast 100
fudgcicle 60
BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1000
EXERCISE: walk one mile to friend's house, watch Red Sox, walk home despondently
HUNGER: 10 Hunger was pretty bad today. I felt like Oliver Twist begging for more gruel.
MAIN BITCH: Sports teams could at least do their part to make me happy.
LITTLE VOICE: It isn't working.
Ravishing Radish

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Day 20

I am very proud to have reached Day 20. I feel like I've been doing this forever. Any person who tells you to do a "quick month" of dieting, is out of their mind. Look at this article I just found from November 2008. It doesn't surprise me.
Nestle has announced that they have recalled Lean Cuisine frozen chicken meals due to the fact that many of the meals have pieces of hard plastic in them................
Washington (dbTechno) - Nestle has announced that they have recalled Lean Cuisine frozen chicken meals due to the fact that many of the meals have pieces of hard plastic in them.
Overall, Nestle has been forced to recall 879,565 pounds of their Lean Cuisine frozen chicken meals.
Customers have been complaining about the small pieces of hard plastic found in the food.
It has also said to have already caused one injury due to the plastic being consumed.
Nestle is urging consumers to check their freezers to see if they have any of the recalled products.
If they have any questions they are also being urged to call the company.

Yeah, yeah, call the company and if they don't answer, have coffee and wait for them to call you back.
Breakfast: The Usual 290

Lunch: LC hard plastic chicken strips with pipe cleaners in tomato sauce 330
grapes 60


Dinner: LC hard plastic Salisbury Scotch tape 220
wedge of canteloupe 60
BreathSavers 60
TOTAL: 1200
EXERCISE: Delightful stroll around Gates Pond with friend
MAIN BITCH: One glass of wine does not satisfy hunger
LITTLE VOICE: Your total weight loss is going to be small.
Foxy Loxy with no Bagel

Friday, October 09, 2009

Day 19

Tacos were on the menu tonight and I had my own 300 calorie version. It was tasty, but I missed sour cream and the apple crisp and all the rest of it. My computer has a nasty virus and I am not at home right now.
Breakfast: The Usual 280

Lunch: LC breast of wolverine with hamster gravy 310

Dinner: Taco without shell 300
Plain salad with meager spoonful Ken's PitifulItalian 60

Lots of tiny bites of things, including sour cream, ice cream, apple crisp 200 *harsh

TOTAL: 1250
EXERCISE: couldn't leave house because on phone with Verizon Dragon Lady
MAIN BITCH: It never gets easier.
LITTLE VOICE: Something will go wrong soon.
Losing Not Boozing

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Day 18

Keira Knightley
Do you suppose anybody has this on their bulletin board as inspiration? Not me. Here is closer to mine:

Good grief. Marilyn would be sent to a fat farm these days.

Breakfast: The Usual 190

Lunch: one jumbo hot dog, nuked up, very tasty 170
one chunk mozzarella cheese 200
grapes 80

1 fudgcicle 60
Dinner: WW carburetor fillet with spark plug medley 280
dollop of parmesan 50 (dregs from bottom of container, not much there)
can green beans 60
Enormous Assemblage of canteloupe, honeydew, dollop of Paul Newman's elixir of sexual potency, or I guess it could have been raspberry vinaigrette 280
BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1170
EXERCISE: hard horse farm walk, but with bad attitude
OPTIMISM: 6 (illegally weighed myself and gained half a pound)
HUNGER: 9 (if I weren't committed publicly to this, I'd have been into the chardonnay)
MAIN BITCH: fantasy of Ben&Jerry surpassing fantasy of Johnny Depp
LITTLE VOICE: It works for everyone else except you.
Have to get going so I can mail a sandwich to Keira.
Slender on a Bender

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Day 17

Shown here are fresh green beans, which I do not eat. They are far too much trouble. Don't forget, I am one who gnaws on a raw hot dog behind the computer screen in my classroom. I am sure my college girls would be appalled. They are so nice and write essays about cleaning, believe it or not. One of them said if your bathroom is clean, you can feel proud to be alive. I admire her spirit. I don't mean to be sexist. I mean to praise her.

Breakfast: Yoplait 120
2 mugs coffee 160

Lunch: jumbo hot dog 170
chunk of mozzarella cheese, yum yum yummy! 120
grapes 80

Dinner: LC eraser meat with rubber bands in a nice Tylenol sauce 310
half honeydew melon 80
Big Pile of veggies garnished with dollop of Paul Newman's raspberry vinaigrette 80
Okay, two dollops, but they were modest add 20
Am skipping the fudgcicle tonight because I feel bloated and fat for no reason. Just sometimes you feel this way. I'll bet if I got on the scale right now, I would see a big gain. That would send me right out onto the roof with a rifle (there's a book title for ya).

TOTAL: 1140 See? I could have the fudgcicle. But I'm too freaking tired to go downstairs and get it. And I have to get up at 6am to hear weird excuses from students about why they have missed class. I wish I could share them, but cannot.
MAIN BITCH: Clothes feel about the same.
LITTLE VOICE: It's not working.
Trimbo the Bimbo

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Day 16

Kind of a blah hungry day. Breakfast: The Usual, do I have to say? 280

Lunch: LC hyena meat with rice 210
Dollop of Thousand Island (couldn't live without my dollops) 50
Grapes 80

Dinner: WW Salisbury Steak (Think eraser from the top of your desk, just change it to brown and put gravy on it) 200
Humongous Pile of Absolutely No-Cal Vegetables 0
Slathering of raspberry vinaigrette (slightly more than dollop)
-- thanks, Paul Newman, rip 70
fudgcicle 60
BreathSavers 60

TOTAL: 1010
MAIN BITCH: Everybody else can lose weight except me
LITTLE VOICE: You are no good and worthless

love, can't talk, my computer is fkced up
Hot Fudge Won't Budge

Monday, October 05, 2009

Day 15: Weigh-In

Healthweigh Doctor Scale Okay, here it is---ta dah!! One pound! Yaay! One pound? That's right and I'm glad for it. Total loss in two weeks? Two and one half pounds! That's 2.5 to the good and I'll take it. Tomorrow I will start bitching about it, of course.

Breakfast: Greek blueberry yogurt (mixed them together today--yaay) 120
2 mugs coffee with HH 160

Lunch: 1 jumbo hot dog 170 (eaten raw at my desk furtively)
chunk of mozzarella cheese 200 ( I think)
grapes 100

Dinner: WW chicken parm--it's okay--310
sprinkling of parmesan cheese 80
can green beans 60
one peach 50
3 small dollops raspberry vinaigrette 70

TOTAL: 1150
EXERCISE: 2 mile easy walk
EXERCISE ANECDOTE: I started walking behind an obviously overweight slow person. I couldn't tell if it was male or female, but it had a wide swinging gait, sidewinding I would have said. It was a woman and she kept getting farther and father away from me. I WAS SLOWER THAN THAT PERSON--AAAAAAARGH!
MAIN BITCH: See exercise anecdote
LITTLE VOICE: That is all you are going to lose

Blooper in Boston Globe:

red sox quiz
Test your rivarly knowledge

Also Red Sox starting pitcher Jon Lester boarding bus for Anaheim and ALDS. Stopping off for Secret Service training prior to game, but will have to lose Little Mermaid necklace first.
Jon Lester, who will start Game 1 for the Red Sox against the Angels (likely on Thursday), boarded the bus.

Curvy 'n Swervy

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Day 14

Brady, Patriots fly past Ravens YEAH, BABY! Tommy Boy back in old form today, we're happy to see. 12 is my lucky number too.

Wish I could only eat 12 of these:

I still can't believe they are 5 calories each. Sigh.

Breakfast: Greek blueberry yogurt 120. Today I forgot there were blueberries on the bottom and ate all the yogurt on top first. Let's give that a big "whatever."

2 mugs coffee with HH 160

Lunch: WW Santa Fe rice and beans ----getting really sick of this 310

Dollop of Thousand Island dressing 50

Grapes 70

Dinner: WW wood shavings with gruel 210

can green beans 60

one peach 80

aforementioned Breath Savers 60

fudgcicle 60

TOTAL: 1060 (making up for lasagna yesterday)

EXERCISE: two mile easy walk. I wore a long sleeved shirt and was so sweaty and uncomfortable that I stopped at my friend's house to relax. No one was home so I sat there in the breezeway, crossed my legs, looked around, acted like I was at a party, but all by myself. Another strange part of the day.

OPTIMISM: 10 very hopeful

HUNGER: 10 envious of other humans

MAIN BITCH: I don't look good in flats, but losing my desire for high heels (non-diet related)

LITTLE VOICE: No one else dresses up at work any more. Get with it.


Leaner but Much Meaner

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Day 13

Today was fairly normal, but I had a social evening. I was forced to eat at a table with other adults. I had no choice. Not only that, but dinner was rather late and I very nearly had to gnaw off my own arm while waiting. I did the best I could, but I believe I had the equivalent of two servings of lasagna. I couldn't help it. It was that or slit my throat.

how to cook lasagna1

Breakfast: Greek yogurt 120
2 mugs coffee with large helping of HH 160

Lunch: WW fish with parmesan something or other, it's got a funny taste 310
small shake of grated Parmesan cheese 50
grapes 60

Dinner: 2 servings heavenly lasagna 800 [cringing]
plain salad with two tbsps. diet dressing 70
BreathSavers 60
TOTAL: 1630 (I went over for the day by 130. I am not going to beat myself up over this.)
EXERCISE: raining like a bastard
HUNGER: 6 (I skipped the brownies and the garlic bread, and I want CREDIT for it)
MAIN BITCH: I get so hungry I feel powerless in a social situation
LITTLE VOICE: You are a no good slacker.
Twiggy Gettin' Jiggy

Friday, October 02, 2009

Day 12

This was one of those days I didn't plan for. I didn't go over, okay? I didn't breach the limit. But it wasn't on the schedule. You will see why.

I am going to see my namesake Molly Rebecca tomorrow, and I am bringing food. I cooked that food tonight. As I cooked, I relaxed and drank alcoholic beverages. I played the radio. I danced.

It was fun.

I still want to eat 20 fudgcicles in a day, but this was good.

Breakfast: Yoplait yogurt 100
2 mugs of coffee with massive HH 160

Lunch: WW Santa Fe rice and beans 310
grapes 80
Dollop of Thousand Island dressing, because it tastes so much better 60

Dinner: Alcoholic beverages 619

TOTAL: 1329

EXERCISE: 2 mile hard walk [horses like me]
OPTIMISM: 10 {illegally weighed myself again, one pound loss]
HUNGER: assuaged by alcoholic buzz
MAIN BITCH: too many papers to grade
LITTLE VOICE: You are an old hag.

Sexy with the Hexy

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Day 11

I wouldn't mind eating an entire day of these. Let's see. They are 60 calories. So I could eat 20 of them and stay within my limit.
Ten before lunch or maybe five before lunch and then 15 after. Oh wait, there wouldn't BE lunch, just fudgcicles. I might consider this.

Breakfast: Wallaby yogurt 140
1 mug coffee with HH 80

Lunch: LC penne pollo 300
grapes 120
Generous sprinkle of Parmesan cheese (think dust storm) 60

Dinner: WW turkey and mashed potatoes (the very worst imaginable frozen dinner ever) 210
Huge Freaking Pile of Broccoli garnished with French salad dressing 100
fudgcicle 60
Breathsavers 60

TOTAL: 1050

EXERCISE: 2 miles walk past horse farm
MAIN BITCH: no change in weight (I illegally weighed myself today, bad mistake)
LITTLE VOICE: It's definitely not working.
Wicked Witch of 495